Things I Would Do Differently If I Got Pregnant Again

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my entire pregnancy journey.. Every single bit of it. Ok, maybe not the yeast infection and body aches, but you get the gist. I miss the whole journey so much I find myself reminiscing it every so often. From how this blog started, seeing a TMC, testing positive etc etc.. I even miss going to Dr W's clinic for the routine checks.

However, if I were to get pregnant again with a #2, there are a few things I would do differently, mostly post delivery.

1. Engage a confinement lady

Yes so my sisters did it without, but one of them gave fm right at the beginning, another had her mil stayed with her. It was basically just one sister who went thru it with no help. 

I underestimated the importance of rest during confinement and never understood why people said confinement is for the mother to rest and recuperate. Say what? Why? My birth was so easy and I don't think I need any recovery.

WRONG. Especially if you plan on breastfeeding, then rest is very important. So is food. So is the ability to not worry about the laundry and dirty dishes in the sink.

2. Breastfeeding options

I'm not sure with #2 if breastfeeding will be easier, but if I do plan on breastfeeding, then I should totally pump after each latch especially in the first 2 weeks. 

Really, big boobs are hindrance to breastfeeding. I am pumping every 4 hours now, with each pump yielding about 180-230ml. But if I can latch him on, it would make our lives so much easier, ESP if we need to go out. No need to worry about pump schedule, warming up the ebm, waking up in the middle of the night to pump, sterilising.... If only. But hey, B is still getting all the BM nutrients and filling up well. Same same.

3. Listen to your heart (or a professional you trust)

More often than not, people will make you feel terrible about yourself and ability to care and provide for baby. Just do what you think is right. Be firm and don't give in. I was adamant about not giving pacifier and the rocker, but I gave in eventually. Though I have to admit, it made my life much easier. 

(UPDATED)

4. Baby shower

Do not hold it at home. I somehow seem to forget I have a big family. Also, even if you are catering the food, don't forget there's still the clean up! Oh my... The thought of it. Next time, it will be either at a restaurant or somewhere.. Wherever, just not home

At this point, we are not thinking about #2 yet, but DH is keen. Me? Just because I miss the whole pregnancy so much I'm willing to try again. But I'm just not sure about how I can divide my love because now, B is my entire life and I want to give him all my attention and love.

A Tribute to the Most Important Man in My Life

To the most amazing man who ever existed:

While many others might beg to differ, as to each his own, you ARE my most amazing man and every day I count my blessings to have you in my life.

I keep commenting Bradley takes after you in terms of his impatience, no doubt I think there is an element of truth there, but somehow, you've been the most patient guy to me.

I am an untidy freak, since young and you have been silently, patiently cleaning up after my mess, all these years. I do notice it and never thank you enough. Whose husband does all the laundry and cleaning of the house? Mine does.

Always tolerating my nonsense and horrid temper. No one needs to tell me, I have a bad temper. Something I hope B doesn't take after. While most time you don't take my shit from me, you always end up being the first to give in or apologise even when you don't think it's your fault. Thank you for that. Have I told you lately I love you?

Our relationship apart, thank you for giving me the best gift ever - our beautiful lovely son. It never really occurred to me how tough it is to be a parent. But I'm amazed with how much love I can have. The love for both my husband and son. Thank you for letting me feel love.

When I see you with B, my heart warms and my tears automatically swell. It's the most beautiful scene ever, and its my favourite image of you - you carrying B in your arms, smiling at him, telling him stories. You might not know, but it is picture perfect.

This Fathers Day I didn't manage to get you anything, the high tea was ridiculous. A lousy attempt to make me feel better, I'll make it up to you someday. But meanwhile, I hope this lets you know how much I love and appreciate you. Thanks for being my hubby and the father to my son.

Xx

Little Piglet

Its so heartening to see him chubby up. 

Baby B at 6w+

 Where has the time gone? B is already on his 6th week! I guess it's so much faster when I live my life by the hour. How you ask?

B feeds every 2 hours, his feeding schedule is so prompt u won't need a clock. During the night.. It stretches to 3-4 hours. Me on the other hand was pumping every 2 hours until recently I've moved to pumping every 3 hours. 

During B'a first 4 weeks, I was latching him exclusively. That time, breastfeeding was tough because he seems to want to latch all the time, hungry all the time. Little did we know it was due the foremilk/hindmilk imbalance. For some reason he wasn't able to get the hindmilk regardless how long I offer the same breast. So I've decided to pump exclusively so it's easier for him and he's still getting all the nutrients of BM.

When a mother latches exclusively then moved to pumping, she'll be surprised by how little milk she can pump out. At first, I managed to only pump about 30-60ml. And since B was not getting enough from latching and I'm pumping so little, I got stressed out again. Pumping every 2 hours was a form of trickery in hopes that my body will produce more milk. It was very, very tiring, but alas, my supply went up. From pumping 30-70ml to now 120-180ml. I'm also pumping every 3 hours instead of 2. Hopefully in time to come 4 hours is fine, I'm just so tired! Sometimes when I'm home alone with B, it's almost impossible to find time to pump. That's when the manual pump comes in handy - carry B with one hand and pump with the other.

Logistic wise, our current arrangement is such that DH drops me at my mum's place in the morning as he goes to work and pick us up. Here, at least there's someone to help take over when I need a toilet break, lunch break or even a quick nap. But, even with the help if my mum, it cannot be compared to the synergy DH and I have when we take care of B at home.

Speaking of which, DH will be in Japan for a week!! I'm moving over to my mums for a week and im not happy about it. What to do? 

Given a choice, I'd still do this all over again.

The Amazing Journey of Introducing Bradley to the World

It has been a whirlwind 2 weeks plus since B was born. He will be 3 weeks old this Friday. DH took a week of work and has been back at work since last week and I've been home alone with Baby B all day long. Whilst my mum comes by most mornings, she stays only for a couple of hour as she needs to be home for when my nephew comes home from kindergarten. I kinda think it worked out fine this way, the only person's company I craved is DH. I miss him even when he's right beside me, does this sound weird? I guess I miss those days where its just me and him. But now, I think it's even better with our little boy with us.

The first few days home from hospital was kinda traumatic, especially when my milk hasn't come in. It kills me to see B so hungry and we had to supplement him with formula, spoon feeding him. Then when we went back to see the PD, which was about 2 days after discharge, he hasn't put on any weight and his pee had a pink tinge, which means he was dehydrated. My heart sunk. I was determined to make sure he feeds well even if it meant giving him FM. I then went to see my gynae for my own follow up, and she gave me some meds to boost my milk supply. This domperidone meds, together with fenugreek from Motherlove as well as regular pumping, I was surprised to see how much milk I can pump. But B was still cranky. Finally, I decided to make an appointment to see a lactation consultant and eventually found out it was due to bad positioning and hence poor latching. After that consultation, B's been feeding much better.

And when we think it was over, the last 2 days were nightmare for me. First he would nurse non-stop, meaning every 30-60 minutes. He would dozed off and when put down to sleep, he would screamed and then nurse again. I read somewhere that this could be growth spurt, which typical happens around 7-10 days, 2-3 weeks, 6-7 weeks and so on. That feeding cycle, plus the fact I'm home alone taking care of him was so stressful. The good news is, growth spurts typically last about 2-3 days, so hence me being able to sit down and type this post. I hope it's over coz it was so darn stressful when he cries.

Anyhoo, I digressed. I meant to be sharing my birth story, which I honestly think is one of the most amazing experience I've ever had. Pain no less, but a great experience. I wrote previously that Dr W was going to induce the birth on 26 April, a day before his EDD coz she's worried B might be getting too big at an estimated 3.6kg. I wasn't keen on the idea of inducing but I trust Dr W.

24 April: Appointment with Dr W at 39weeks 4 days - 3cm dilated.
24 April, 11+ pm: contractions started but where 10-15 minutes apart. Continued throughout the night but still at 10-15 minutes apart.

25 April, 5am: Bloody show but contractions were 7-10 minutes apart. Called Dr W's clinic. Advised to wait till 5 minutes apart before admitting to labour ward.

26 April, 12am: Contractions were 5-7 minutes apart. I waited and timed for an hour to make sure they were closer.
26 April, 2am: Got up to shower and washed my hair. Woke DH up and said it's time. Had coffee/milo before we set off to the hospital.

2.50am: 4cm dilated, contractions 2-4 minutes apart. Given suppository to clear bowels. Advised to wait until Dr W comes in the morning. DH and I too hyped up to get any sleep.

7-8am: Requested for laughing gas. Mentally decided if by the time Dr W arrives and dilation is still at 4cm, I'll ask for epidural.

930am: Dr W. arrives. 6cm dilated. Broke waterbag. Asked if I want epidural. Both she and nurse think I can do without. Decided to go without.

10am: Oxytocin drip started.

11am: 7cm dilated. In so much pain I can't move or lie straight, has to be seated upright but that position is no good for monitoring nor for baby to move down further. Advised me to turn to my side, which I did but I turned back because it was too painful. Laughing gas not much help.

11+ am: Pain was so bad, had urge to push, still at 7cm. Requested for epi. Nurse gave me an "are you sure, you are nearly there" look. Got her colleague to come check me again. Made me turned to my side so that baby can turn also. Next thing I know, they took away the laughing gas which I was holding onto dearly and said, "don't need this anymore, next contraction you push". I'm like, WTH? Don't we need to wait till 10cm? DH made to leave the room while they set up and propped my legs. Started pushing. Felt like the biggest constipation. All these while I really wasn't exactly sure what was happening except I was in so much pain.

Next thing I knew, I heard them say, "Ok I'm calling Dr W, she's in room X just finish delivering". And when Dr W came in, it felt so good to see her. But she quickly slipped into work mode and was so professional. Next thing I knew, she was in front of me and then everyone began counting to 10s and was like "pushhhhhhhh.... change of breath... pushhhhhhh". The next sensation I felt was warm watery feeling and tadah, baby was on my chest.

More movements going on in the background, more pain as the placenta comes out and Dr W stitching my wounds, all this time I was just trying to grapple the fact that I just gave birth and hearing the nurse telling DH what to do. I remember joking with Dr W that if I ever have a #2, I will definitely opt for epidural the moment I admit to the labour ward. She laughed it off sying usually for #2, it's easier.

As I'm typing this and B is sleeping in the cot beside me, I still can't believe we have a baby. DH and I just feel so thankful everyday. Thankful for this little miracle. All the pains for breastfeeding and cranky baby will soon pass, I'm ure its all worth it.

Knowing When To Seek Help

I've been having some issues at different times of the day with B refusing to latch and screaming his lungs off because he's hungry yet not getting anything. I've been pumping to standby so that when this happen, we can give him the bottle. 

After almost a week of this, I've finally decided to see a lactation consultant and am pleased to say it was really well worth it. B has been nursing well and I intend to latch exclusively if possible. That is, if I survive tonight. So far all the night feeds have been bottled ebm... Tonight I wanna try latching again...lets see.

As we get into a routine, I feel abit more liberated. I even managed to cook DH a simple meal of aglio olio this evening while I'm still stuck with boring confinement food.

2 more weeks to go now!

Coping

There's so much I wanna blog about but as you are probably aware, I can't find time to sit down and do it proper in front of a computer. I do want to say parenthood is not easy and taking care of bb alone is so ambitious, but I think I would make the same decision all over again. The learning curve is indeed very steep. So is the stress level when bb is wailing away.

These days I find myself so dependent on DH.. I can't believe how attached I am  to him and my works brights up when he's home from work. I guess just his presence alone make so much difference.

His job requires him to travel a fair bit, when his traveling resumes, I hope I don't sink into depression.

Bb B although a handful at feeding is really my life now. Watching him grow and look different each day melts my heart. We are indeed very blessed despite my lack of sleep. I'm sure it will all pass and will be well worth it.