Say Cheese!

Hey Ernie, where's Bert? Or Bradley?

My favourite piece  from Carters. Simply too adorable

Hi baby, are you comfortable in there?

Decisions, Decisions

I've been involved in interviewing 2 positions within my office over the last two weeks. The thing that struck me while conducting these interviews, besides the fact that there are really all sorts and kinds of different people around, is how many women are willing to sacrifice for their family and children.

Yesterday, I had a chat with a new colleague who is a mother of two. She took 2 years off work when her son was born. My first question to her was, did she find it difficult to get back to the workforce, and for her, no. Obviously she took a bit of pay cut but I think that was to be expected. Today, I interviewed a lady who left the corporate world for 10 years! She was very thankful to be given a job at a very renowned research firm after 2 years of job search. The sacrifices these mothers made for their children made me think hard again about my hesitation to be a SAHM. All that I've met said that they have no regrets doing that and if they were to choose again, they will choose the same path. Because the time spent watching their kids grow is so valuable. For me, the pushback factor is whether I can get used to having no personal source of income. Being a SAHM would mean that I have to rely on DH. We've gone through this time and again, with one set of income, its definitely possible but I will have to change my lifestyle a little bit.

I think I should be able to make a better decision during the 16 weeks maternity leave. Let's see.

Type A Personality... Or Not?

I don't think I am a Type A... but I seem to possess some typical characteristics of a Type A personality:

☒           Highly independent

☒           Take charge

☐           Decisive

☐           Direct

☐           Business-like

☒           Ambitious

☒           Efficient

☐           Motivated

☐           Persistent

☒           Focused

☐           Risk-taking

☒           Practical-solution oriented

☐           Dislike routine

☐           High achieving

☐           No nonsense

☒           Multi-tasking

☒           Dateline driven

☐           Change oriented

Weaknesses of Type A:

☐           Aggressive

☒           Controlling

☒           Too competitive

☒           Impatient

☒           Status conscious

☐           High strung

☐           Workaholic

☐           Insensitive

☐           Walk or talk at a rapid pace

☒           Easily upset over small things

☐           Blunt

☐           Rushed and time starved

Those that I've checked, are those I think I possessed. So while I don't think I'm a pure Type A, the anal part of me has got some elements of it. I'm definitely a control freak and with this impending birth of Bradley, I'm feeling so out of control as I don't know when he decides to say hello to the world. All I can do is to make sure that I'm well prepared for his arrival. But that said, no matter how prepared you think you are, you never really will be, don't you think?

An ex-colleague and I were chatting on Skype the other day, she asked me how far along I am and told me to start packing my hospital bag. Then she added immediately, "oh but knowing you, I'm sure your bags are packed already". Not sure if I should take it as a compliment or she thinks I'm kiasu by nature.

Anyway, besides packing the hospital bag, having the admission letter ready in my handbag daily, washing baby's clothes and the necessary laundry, sterilizing the milk bottles and pumps, what else is there?

I've also placed 2 old towels in our car, just in case of my waterbag leaking and the last I want DH to do is worry about cleaning the car up. Went and bought some night maxi pads and more disposable underwear to keep a set in my handbag in case, again, should my waterbag burst while I'm at work or out. This way, I don't have to make my way to the hospital with leaky bottom and wet undies. 

What else? What else? Help the control freak me in me feel more in control please.

4-Day Week.. Hallelujah

The thing that got me out of bed this morning was the thought of a 4-day work week this week. Other than that, I know this week is gonna be shitty being the closing week of Q1 and I was already pissed off with work from last week. DH kept reminding me, don't let work or your colleagues affect you  nor Bradley. I try, I try. Had a dream last night about fighting with another coworker, it is really stupid how work should be bothering me at this stage. I have to keep reminding myself..... zen, calm and deep breaths. More importantly, none of these should matter anymore.. or rather.. eventually.

Anyway, the past weekend, we didn't do much. I was tired. We did make a run to the grocery store to stock up on food supplies so that we didn't have to leave home at all on Sunday. But all these cooking is beginning to take a toll on me - I have a chair now that I sits on while waiting for a dish to cook. By the end of dinner, i.e. after washing up and stuff, my feet looks red and raw. But then I get a nice foot rub from DH... ah... bliss.

We moved the cot into our room yesterday. I've decided to let B room in with me for the first month for the convenience of feeding. If we thought seeing the cot in his nursery was surreal, seeing it in our room is even more unbelievable.

Last week, I bought an A3 size whiteboard for the purpose of counting down to meeting Bradley. Gives me an activity to do every morning!

It is now less than 34 days. 

Mood: Dejected

Had a massive fight with DH this morning. I hate it when we fight, I don't feel good, but sometimes you can't help it. And when the cause of the fight is something silly, it makes it worse. Anyhoo, it's water under the bridge now.

I think I'm feeling the emotional stress now. He told me yesterday that he has to make a one-night trip with his boss to BKK because of a staff resignation there, and this will take place when I'm 36w. Theoretically, it's fine, we don't think and hope B doesn't arrive that early. But seeing how many mummies have already popped, the worry freak in me can't help but wonder what if he misses the birth of his first son? Not only will he be so upset with himself, I will too. I need him in the labour ward. I think all these are kinda uncalled for, but I can't help worry about it. From today onwards, I'll keep talking to Bradley and tell him to be good, wait till the time is right before he decides to come out. Daddy needs to be around for the grand finale.

Sighs... At my 39w of pregnancy, his president from the head office wants to visit their customers in India as it's a huge market for them. I know he feels stuck between his job and the birth of his son, but I also know he has his priorities set and that his son is more important. I just hate for him to be in this dilemma. All these are unknowingly giving me nightmares at night. I don't dare tell him about the nightmares for fear of him feeling more stressed.

Argghhhh.....

Lunch Date

DH and I had lunch together today - a rarity and I loved it. He wanted to drop the car off for me so that I can go home earlier and not wait for him to pick me as he might have to work later than usual. With his increasingly heavy workload and hints from the boss, looks like he's in for more OT and traveling after baby arrives. He's planned not to drive at all during my maternity leave and will take the train - it's easy for him  because it's a straight line to his workplace, unlike mine where I have to change and walk quite a bit.

Anyway it was nice to have lunch with DH occasionally and I told him, I'll bring Bradley to have lunch with him the next time. It'll be nice. :)

Prenatal Appointment at 34w2d

So we went to see Dr W today. I was so surprised I haven't put on weight since the last visit. I was telling DH in the car today I'm sure my weight will increase because I've been kinda constipated for the last 2 days and I ate so much over the weekend! But it was exactly the same as the last visit, K the clinic assistant asked commented on my surprise and happiness.

Bradley was sleeping today I think, not very active and hence we couldn't see much. His head is down, hands and legs near and his back on my right. I think he's probably in a crouching position? Poor thing he's been in this position for a month or more already! He's weighing a little over 2.3kg and Dr W said he's growing fine, but asked about my weight gain or lack of. I told her my appetite is fine, I tend to watch what I eat and she's not concerned so long baby's growing and trending well. The 2 clinic assistants, on the other hand, seems to be more worried and asked if I'm drinking milk and eating enough. Told me I wouldn't want to have too small a baby... got me worried a little at first. But hey, if doctor's not worried, I shouldn't! I'll promise to eat a bit more food and make sure they're nutritional.

Also had some concerns about episiotomy, which is basically a cut between the vagina and anus to enlarge the opening. I asked Dr W if this is something that's inevitable or if anything I can do to prevent it. She told me her practice is not to perform episiotomy if possible, as she finds that the healing process for the natural tear is faster and less painful than if one is being performed. Of course, if she notices during the labour that the tear is going haywire, i.e. tearing towards the front or side, she'll make the cut. Her observations are us Asians tend to stretch lesser in that area as compared to the Westerners, but she'll try to avoid it whenever possible. Good to know. Some people do perineum massage, but she doesn't think it's helpful at all. This is why I like Dr W - she's very truthful and honest.

So apparently the menses-like cramps I've been experiencing (not frequently) are Braxton Hicks - the false contractions. I knew the tightening of my abs were BH, but I wasn't sure of the cramps.

Next visit in 2 weeks, then it will be weekly visits!! OMG!

Getting the Nursery Ready

A couple of weeks back, I bought some stick-on wallpapers from Qoo10 to decorate Baby B's room. These were made and shipped out from Korea. Saturday, DH went to the post office to pick up his items from Amazon and these wallpapers as well. I love how it looks on the initially bare walls.

Daddy hard at work

I also had a haircut over the weekend - made me feel so light and refreshed now. During my facial, my therapist was asking me how I feel about the impending birth, my response? "I'm ready to push and get through this pregnancy". It was no doubt a fast journey but the last leg is indeed very tiring, I want to get through it and hold my darling in my arms soon!

33 Weeks

What we've done/accomplished over the last weekend:

• Did a maternity photoshoot with Next Studio. I'll recommend them to anyone who's interested for 2 simple reasons: they are young and fun, puts you at ease and the more practical reason, their charges are one of the most reasonable in the market I think. Photos should be ready in 1-2 weeks, can't wait! Also maybe because the photographer complimented me on how well I maintained the look of my belly. Haha... didn't feel the need to let him know that stretch marks are genetic, nothing I can do to prevent it really. But they have showed up last week, showed up at the very end of the pregnancy!! Dear god.. why? Well, the good news is I'm at the final leg already, and they are right at the bottom of my belly, so easily covered up by my underwear. Bummer.

• Stopped by my friend Karen's place to pick up some of the items she very kindly pass down for me to use. Important things like breast pumps, baby carrier, cot bumper.. I'm so thankful for all these hand-me-downs. Spent some time playing with her daughter who just turned 1 and is such a sweetheart. Babies at this age are sooooooo adorable. On a side note, breast pump is so interesting. I tested it out just for fun - it was indeed funny.

• Massage - very badly needed. I took a power nap before the masseur came over and was drifting in and out of sleep during the massage. She commented that my tummy is much  bigger since she last saw me. 

• Last minute shopping and packing of hospital bag! We started packing the hospital bag first, so we know what are the items we still need to buy. Turns out I have pretty much every thing except for nitty gritty stuff like toiletries for use at hospital, maternity pads, diapers. So off we went to get these items and we're done! Well maybe except for diapers. I think we still have some time for that, am contemplating if I should get them online or just get from the stores. Regardless, I'm not going to stock up too much in case a certain brand ain't suitable. I also bought a diaper bag! I always imagined I'd buy a fairly expensive/branded bag, but this was love at first sight. It was on display at one of those push carts and the size seems good for storing diapers, milk powder, baby clothes etc. And it was a steal at only $38 as opposed to what I'd have spent if I stepped into one of those boutiques. *self pat on shoulder*

• Not sure if this is due to the nesting instinct, but I started washing some items bit by bit. It started because I wanted to pack a set of clothes for the hospital bag for baby to wear upon discharge - so I figured I might as well wash some of the other items as well. I did the socks, mittens, hat, swaddles, the baby carrier which Karen passed to me and a blanket. I got all emotional when I was hanging these stuff up, how small can they get?!

Oh, and of course, the highlight of last week was our time at Dr W's clinic. It was one of the most interesting scans we did to date, because Bradley showed us all the tricks he was capable of. He started hiccuping the moment we began our scan, and we saw those hiccups on the screen, so cute! And then Dr W said he had his eyes opened, and at some point, he turned his face and it was SOOOOO clear. Then he was playing with his foot and tugging it with one hand, and then he was yawning, and then he stretched his neck, boy was he busy! We had so much fun observing him and I think Dr W found it amusing too.

She then gave me the admission letter (OMG!), asked about my birth plan, briefed me on when to admit to the delivery ward... some options of pain relief... everything just happened so quickly. It was only yesterday I went into her office to confirm the pregnancy and now we're talking about birth plans already? Anyhoo, I think I'm ready. I'm ready to welcome baby Bradley to the world.

I Love Peanut Butter Cookies

It started when he said he loved the peanut butter cookies from Subway, and incidentally, I do too. In fact, I love anything with peanut butter.

So off I went in search for a recipe for the soft, chewy Subway peanut butter cookie.

I made a batch that was enough for him to bring a box to the office to munch on when he feels like it, and for me to share with the colleagues. There's another box sitting in our kitchen.

I added some butterscotch chips which was so delish but I just can't seem to get the soft, chewy texture. It turns out pretty crunchy like how cookies normally do. Anybody knows why?

Ernie The Irritant

DH whatsapped this picture:

DH: Bradley's first friend

Me: Haha.. you bought it?

DH: Yes

Me: Cute

DH: It was my favourite Sesame St character

DH: Because he always irritate Bert

For some reason, this simple act of buying a soft toy for his son melts my heart.

Last Minute Shopping

Last Saturday, we had a staycation at Marina Mandarin and it turned out to be a pretty productive weekend for us. Whilst the hotel is in desperate need of an upgrade to its room, it was, afterall a good experience. I was pleasantly surprised at check-in when the lady at front desk, after taking my documents invited me to take a seat at the lobby and will bring the check-in documents to me for signature since I'm pregnant. Impressed. Our room had a great view and for a change, it was nice waking up to this view.

Our agenda was really to spend some relaxing time by the pool, and then head off to the mall next door to do some last minute shopping for baby. We bought quite a bit of the small, nitty but none-the-less important items.

• Sheets for the baby cot mattress
• Neck support pillow thingy that can be placed in the cot or the pram
• Aspirator - a suction to remove boogie from baby's nose. My pinkie is too big for his nose. Maybe I should start growing the nail on my pinkie. Haha
• Disposable cotton underwear for post-delivery
• Cotton wool - I'm not sure what's the purpose but I think it's to clean the baby??
• Wash clothes

Felt so good after the purchase, I don't know why. I'm now left with a few more items and we're good! I think.

On another note, my friend C is scheduled for a c-section this Thursday, everything's happening too quick!