The Amazing Journey of Introducing Bradley to the World

It has been a whirlwind 2 weeks plus since B was born. He will be 3 weeks old this Friday. DH took a week of work and has been back at work since last week and I've been home alone with Baby B all day long. Whilst my mum comes by most mornings, she stays only for a couple of hour as she needs to be home for when my nephew comes home from kindergarten. I kinda think it worked out fine this way, the only person's company I craved is DH. I miss him even when he's right beside me, does this sound weird? I guess I miss those days where its just me and him. But now, I think it's even better with our little boy with us.

The first few days home from hospital was kinda traumatic, especially when my milk hasn't come in. It kills me to see B so hungry and we had to supplement him with formula, spoon feeding him. Then when we went back to see the PD, which was about 2 days after discharge, he hasn't put on any weight and his pee had a pink tinge, which means he was dehydrated. My heart sunk. I was determined to make sure he feeds well even if it meant giving him FM. I then went to see my gynae for my own follow up, and she gave me some meds to boost my milk supply. This domperidone meds, together with fenugreek from Motherlove as well as regular pumping, I was surprised to see how much milk I can pump. But B was still cranky. Finally, I decided to make an appointment to see a lactation consultant and eventually found out it was due to bad positioning and hence poor latching. After that consultation, B's been feeding much better.

And when we think it was over, the last 2 days were nightmare for me. First he would nurse non-stop, meaning every 30-60 minutes. He would dozed off and when put down to sleep, he would screamed and then nurse again. I read somewhere that this could be growth spurt, which typical happens around 7-10 days, 2-3 weeks, 6-7 weeks and so on. That feeding cycle, plus the fact I'm home alone taking care of him was so stressful. The good news is, growth spurts typically last about 2-3 days, so hence me being able to sit down and type this post. I hope it's over coz it was so darn stressful when he cries.

Anyhoo, I digressed. I meant to be sharing my birth story, which I honestly think is one of the most amazing experience I've ever had. Pain no less, but a great experience. I wrote previously that Dr W was going to induce the birth on 26 April, a day before his EDD coz she's worried B might be getting too big at an estimated 3.6kg. I wasn't keen on the idea of inducing but I trust Dr W.

24 April: Appointment with Dr W at 39weeks 4 days - 3cm dilated.
24 April, 11+ pm: contractions started but where 10-15 minutes apart. Continued throughout the night but still at 10-15 minutes apart.

25 April, 5am: Bloody show but contractions were 7-10 minutes apart. Called Dr W's clinic. Advised to wait till 5 minutes apart before admitting to labour ward.

26 April, 12am: Contractions were 5-7 minutes apart. I waited and timed for an hour to make sure they were closer.
26 April, 2am: Got up to shower and washed my hair. Woke DH up and said it's time. Had coffee/milo before we set off to the hospital.

2.50am: 4cm dilated, contractions 2-4 minutes apart. Given suppository to clear bowels. Advised to wait until Dr W comes in the morning. DH and I too hyped up to get any sleep.

7-8am: Requested for laughing gas. Mentally decided if by the time Dr W arrives and dilation is still at 4cm, I'll ask for epidural.

930am: Dr W. arrives. 6cm dilated. Broke waterbag. Asked if I want epidural. Both she and nurse think I can do without. Decided to go without.

10am: Oxytocin drip started.

11am: 7cm dilated. In so much pain I can't move or lie straight, has to be seated upright but that position is no good for monitoring nor for baby to move down further. Advised me to turn to my side, which I did but I turned back because it was too painful. Laughing gas not much help.

11+ am: Pain was so bad, had urge to push, still at 7cm. Requested for epi. Nurse gave me an "are you sure, you are nearly there" look. Got her colleague to come check me again. Made me turned to my side so that baby can turn also. Next thing I know, they took away the laughing gas which I was holding onto dearly and said, "don't need this anymore, next contraction you push". I'm like, WTH? Don't we need to wait till 10cm? DH made to leave the room while they set up and propped my legs. Started pushing. Felt like the biggest constipation. All these while I really wasn't exactly sure what was happening except I was in so much pain.

Next thing I knew, I heard them say, "Ok I'm calling Dr W, she's in room X just finish delivering". And when Dr W came in, it felt so good to see her. But she quickly slipped into work mode and was so professional. Next thing I knew, she was in front of me and then everyone began counting to 10s and was like "pushhhhhhhh.... change of breath... pushhhhhhh". The next sensation I felt was warm watery feeling and tadah, baby was on my chest.

More movements going on in the background, more pain as the placenta comes out and Dr W stitching my wounds, all this time I was just trying to grapple the fact that I just gave birth and hearing the nurse telling DH what to do. I remember joking with Dr W that if I ever have a #2, I will definitely opt for epidural the moment I admit to the labour ward. She laughed it off sying usually for #2, it's easier.

As I'm typing this and B is sleeping in the cot beside me, I still can't believe we have a baby. DH and I just feel so thankful everyday. Thankful for this little miracle. All the pains for breastfeeding and cranky baby will soon pass, I'm ure its all worth it.

Knowing When To Seek Help

I've been having some issues at different times of the day with B refusing to latch and screaming his lungs off because he's hungry yet not getting anything. I've been pumping to standby so that when this happen, we can give him the bottle. 

After almost a week of this, I've finally decided to see a lactation consultant and am pleased to say it was really well worth it. B has been nursing well and I intend to latch exclusively if possible. That is, if I survive tonight. So far all the night feeds have been bottled ebm... Tonight I wanna try latching again...lets see.

As we get into a routine, I feel abit more liberated. I even managed to cook DH a simple meal of aglio olio this evening while I'm still stuck with boring confinement food.

2 more weeks to go now!

Coping

There's so much I wanna blog about but as you are probably aware, I can't find time to sit down and do it proper in front of a computer. I do want to say parenthood is not easy and taking care of bb alone is so ambitious, but I think I would make the same decision all over again. The learning curve is indeed very steep. So is the stress level when bb is wailing away.

These days I find myself so dependent on DH.. I can't believe how attached I am  to him and my works brights up when he's home from work. I guess just his presence alone make so much difference.

His job requires him to travel a fair bit, when his traveling resumes, I hope I don't sink into depression.

Bb B although a handful at feeding is really my life now. Watching him grow and look different each day melts my heart. We are indeed very blessed despite my lack of sleep. I'm sure it will all pass and will be well worth it.

A Bundle of Joy

A bundle of joy probably doesn't do it justice. It's more than that. I never knew I could be so cliche or mushy but it is possible to be so in love.

Baby Bradley was delivered on 26 April, a day before his edd. I'll save the proper birth story for another day but I am thankful for a fast labour and quick recovery.

I am trying to catch up with his growing appetite but I think it could be due to my milk supply. The jamu lady this morning cleared my ducts and said she thinks I have milk but they are clogged up. So I'll have to religiously massage my breast. Not easy. I am always so tempted to give in to formula milk but DH is so supportive. I dunno what I'll do when he goes back to work next week :(

The arrival of B gave me so much love but also responsibility. Every time he cries I assume its hunger or dirty diaper. But is it really? Can't wait till we are at the stage where he can tell me what's bothering him and I won't need to guess.

Meanwhile, it's back to more sore nipples and crying.