Finding Time and Discipline to Get Things Done

I haven't been updating as much as I like. Bear with me for awhile as I try to settle into a new routine and meeting "datelines".

As you might have been aware, I've recently took on a freelance role as a content curator for the a lifestyle website and I'm really enjoying it. Truth be told, it is not so much about how much it pays me (not a lot by the way), but more of keeping my brain active and doing things outside of the day to day caregiving duties. As a result, my already limited free time/me-time is taken up by doing some researching and sourcing for good topics.

So in my free time, I have to decide how I want to put it to good use. Some of the things I do when B takes his nap:

Prepare lunch/dinner
Catch up on whatsapp chats/facebook/instagram
Blog
Watch a kdrama
Nap

Now, I have to add in "work". I love it. Not only do I love what I'm doing, I like the fact I'm keeping myself busy with meaningful activities.

Now if you would excuse me, I need to go back to my office.

A Day At The Beach

Last Sunday, we took B to the beach. We had wanted to try but never really gone on to it. The last time we went to Sentosa for our staycation, he couldn't walk yet and he was fairly disgusted with the sand.

One of the reason why we have been putting the beach outing on hold is because of his nap time. Nowadays, he sleeps from 945-10am to 1130-12 noon. We prefer to go in the morning when the sun is less brutal. But last week we decided to just do it.

By the time we got to Palawan beach, it was almost 130pm.  We found a spot, lay out the mat and got to playing. It took a while for B to get use to the sand texture and get into the waters. But once he was warmed up, he was having a ball feeling the sand falls through his fingers and splashing the water.

We took a break and ate the food I prepared, drank our ice cold beer from the ice box we brought and B had his strawberry milk, sandwich and tons of biscuits. I have to say it was alot of fun.

But the sun that day was out to kill. Sunscreen, sunscreen, sunscreen.  That is the one most important thing for the tod. I was so kiasu I reapplied them on him every 20 - 30min. Getting him to wear a hat is not easy but he eventually gave in. Coupled with his rash guard, he was pretty well protected.

Spending Time with Daddy

Last Saturday, I had to help out at my good friend's wedding. It was kind of a whole day thing, and needless to say, I worried about how B will be spending the entire day without mummy.

Leading up to the day, I planned his meals and taught DH what to do, when to do and how to do.

The day came and I left home at 630am before the both of them wakes. While at my friend's place, getting all anxious and excited for her, my mind constantly went back home and I missed B so much it was ridiculous.

Well it turned out my worries were uncalled for of course. Father and son had a great time and when I got home in the afternoon, B was happy to see me. When I left for the dinner rehearsal, B cried looking for me room to room and it broke my heart when DH told me. But once DH distracted him with his favourite balcony door (sighs... a story for another day), he was happy again.

The next day, DH said to me.

"Baby I know its tough on you. Just spending one day with him at home had me spent".

Thank you for acknowledging it. But I love doing it.

Managing Expectations vs Reality

Many years ago, 17 years ago to be exact, I had a goal in mind. That was to get myself registered for driving test the moment I hit 18 years old. For the next 5 years, I look forward to my 18th birthday because I simply had to accomplish that goal. When I finally turned 18, I wasted no time and found myself a private teacher and had passed all my basic, advance and final driving test on my first attempt.

About 3 years ago when we decided we were ready to start a family, I had only 1 goal, which was to get pregnant. Not knowing what to expect and not timing it correctly, I found myself in a situation where I don't know how to react because things weren't going according to plan. Then, I told myself, "this is reality".

When I left school and started working at 18 years, I had another milestone that I was looking forward to. That is the day I turn 30. Everywhere I went, I was always the baby of the company I'm with, either in school or at work. Perhaps I was reading too much into it, but I always felt people would take me more seriously if I was a bit older, so I wanted to be 30 badly. And of course, in light of that goal, I must have a huge celebration when I did turn 30. It must be a huge, elegant bash. I had imagined wearing a nice outfit on a yatch, sipping champagne and eating canapés, and maybe getting drunk at the end of the evening.

The reality I found out not too long after B was born, is that this probably won't be possible until he's way older. I might probably yearn for just a day off in the kitchen, maybe yearn for a good foot rub or a body massage, or simply just a 2-hour nap.

You don't need to be 30 for others to take you seriously I've since found out. Respecting others for who they are, respecting yourself more importantly, and proving to others your capabilities despite your age through the results you deliver are more effective.

That said, turning 30 is just another day.

I turned 30 yesterday.

Learning Through Adverse Situations

A fellow mummy blogger shared this on Facebook. How apt it is for me, especially what we are going through at home.

It ain't major really. Except I have been down with a terrible cough for more than 2 weeks now and despite seeing a doctor and finishing my meds, it is not getting any better. And of course, as B's main caregiver, I should have put more thoughts into taking care of myself and ensuring B doesn't catch it from me. For 1 week plus, I gave myself and B a pat on the shoulders. Wow, he must be strong, my coughing fits doesn't bother him nor give him the virus. Well, lo and behold, 2 weeks later, my dear son caught it and I'm killing myself.

It started off one night where he couldn't sleep and was just tossing and turning in bed. I felt his forehead and it was feverish. We thought he was properly teething his final molars as I could feel it as I rubbed the teething gel. Gave him a little para and the next day he was fine. Then the runny nose started. And that cough. The next day was Sunday and I couldn't wait any longer because he did not sleep well at night at all. Searched everywhere for a clinic that is opened on Sunday and also capable of treating young kids. Found one, went there early and was pleasantly surprised there were quite a few baby patients. The doctor was ok, nice and thorough, but he is not Dr Z. He also prescribed antibiotics which I decided not to give to B since his fever wasn't the main thing and my gut feeling stopped me from doing so. I usually listens to doctors, most doctors that is. But this round I decided against it. If B is still not well by tomorrow, I will bring him to Dr Z for a review. 

Everywhere I read, there are articles saying cough medicine is not recommended for young kids. OTC cough syrups do not work for children. So am I really to sit and wait for the virus to go off by itself. His mucous are not bothering him as much as it is killing me. I'm impatient, my heart is aching so bad seeing him sleep and eat poorly. What can I do?!

Sighs.

Honestly, this is the first time B has fallen ill, majorly. I know after this episode, we will both emerge strongly, and I will have learn something new.

Meanwhile, this space might be a little quiet while I mend my broken heart and TLC my son back to health.

16 Months On...

The lack of updates really is due to a combination of factors: nothing outta the ordinary to update, some days I just wanna sink into my couch and space out, and I landed myself a freelance job curating content for a local site. So am still trying to get a hang of it. So rather than writing for the sake of writing, here's some pictures to do the talking.

School Tour

Some of you might be aware that B is extremely shy in the presence of strangers - he will cling onto me tightly like a koala, and that means even when there are strangers at home.

I am worried for the day he needs to go to school and am trying to start him young to avoid any potential meltdown. I may be kiasu, but my intent is stemmed from trying to minimise any traumatic experience for him.

Whilst I have no intention to let him attend school until he's 3, I've been searching around for playgroups that I can attend with him, in hopes that he gets used to the school's "play and learn" concept. But then again, I doubt it will serve the purpose I had wanted it to. So I decided to check out schools instead, trying to understand how the preschool systems work and how we could potentially make his admission easier.

I toured a school recommended by an ex-colleague whom I trust a lot when it comes to making decisions regarding her kids. Turns out one of my ex-schoolmate sends her son there too. It was my first ever visit to a preschool and I did not know what to expect. So I turned to my mummies' group and asked the experienced ones what to look out for, questions to ask etc.

It was very interesting and B seemed genuinely curious and might even at one point seemed eager to join the kids. As we were walking around, I had a feeling B would do fine and I would be the one in a wreck. Having spoke to the administrator and had my questions answered, I think I am more confident now, as to how I will prep him. After all, he would be almost 3 by then.

I guess I still have some time to go seek recommendations and check schools out. Should be fun, except, the feeling is surreal. Looking for schools for my baby... I can't bear to think of it too much.