Count Down Not Required

Bloody AF witch (no pun intended) is here.

ROARRRRRR!

Counting Down

Not to 2012 yet, but to Christmas. For two reasons: AF is due anytime from Christmas Eve, and for the Christmas Eve dinner at my place.

I can't wait for AF to arrive since I know this month we're out - with the arrival of AF, it starts a fresh new cycle with fresh hopes. This next cycle, I am well equipped:

1) Ovulation Prediction Kits (OPKs) - allows you to identify when your LH surge is - the period where you  are most fertile and time BD accordingly.

Ovulation test strips

2) Basal Thermometer - tracks the body's minutest temperature shifts.When you chart your basal body temperature, you're looking out for the shift in body temperature. Charting helps to pinpoint your ovulation

Basal Thermometer

3) Mad, Paranoid, Crazy LadyinWaiting - with my obsession, the slightest possible signs are all symptoms. So that said, I should be very in tune with my own body.

LadyinWaiting Stressing

It's Just Emotions Taking Me Over

Of late, it's been hard for me to look at pregnant ladies. To see the beautiful bump they're carrying, such a wonderful sight it almost always brings tears to my eyes. Listening to the stress of mums-to-be, how I wish I was going through those. Inevitably, you start asking yourself "what if..."


Patience is a virtue, or so they say. I've always thought I'm the one with the patience. Clearly it has ran out over the years, or maybe patience only applies to certain things. Like, patience when speaking to a child, patience when a co-worker is so full of himself, patience when the new girl in office learns and makes mistakes.

Where is patience when I needed him the most in the department of babies?

I hate to be so mopey.

Distractions

In my terrible attempts to distract myself from this cycle of 2ww - which for the record, I have no idea how many dpo I'm at right now - I've been searching for recipes online and trying them out. On some Sundays, I get up and feel like scrambled eggs. On others, I just want a hot bowl of fishball noodles. This last Sunday, I woke up feeling like eggs benedict but with no prior reservations, I didn't want to queue for an hour to get a table. So I sent DH out to get some eggs, muffins, ham and bacon.

Looking back, it took me more than an hour to prepare the dish, which would have been about the same waiting time if we'd gone out for brunch. 

For dinner, I prepared a roast chicken using Jamie Olivier's recipe. So easy but so delicious.

Not much work needed but chopping the vegs, rubbing the bird with salt and pepper and drizzling it with olive oil. Oh yes, what made a huge difference was the stabbed lemon and a bunch of rosemary and thyme that was stuffed into its cavity. We had half the chicken, and the remaining half we brought to work for lunch.

The Sense of an Ending - Julian Barnes

This is the second book we’re discussing in the new-ish book club I’m part of. Compared to the first book (Cat’s Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut), it’s definitely lighter, easier to read, but not any less mind boogling.

The story is set in the 60s about a group English school boys in their teenage years, being sex-hungry and book-hungry. A large part of the book is dedicated to their teenage years and as they moved on with their life, they got out of touch, got married, divorced, killed themselves, well one of them did. It became more interesting and fast-paced for me round about the ¾ mark where the narrator Anthony Webster found out his eccentric ex-gf’s mother left him 2 documents and 500 pounds when she died. He then went on a journey to reclaim the documents which were in the ex-gf’s possession, and through the process, found himself going back into history and wondered if the events that happened in the past gave any hints to why he was given the estate, 40 years later.

My verdict – twisted endings are always my favourites but I thought Barnes spent way too much time laying the ground work. Bonus points given for managing to cramp the whole story in 176 pages. Interesting read and a great choice for book clubs as there are so much to discuss and talk about.

Cooking Mama

I really enjoy cooking. There's something about the prep work that's so therapeutic and soothing to me. I especially love sipping a glass of wine while chopping those carrots or while waiting for the fish to bake in the oven.

Unfortunately, working full time makes it difficult to cook on a daily basis. I half suspect that if I were to cook everyday, I'll get sick of it pretty fast. So that leaves me with cooking during the weekend. Which is good because it gives me time to think about the recipes and do my groceries.

This past weekend, I gave my Christmas menu a "full dress rehearsal" - I don't want to end up ordering pizzas for Christmas.

Baked cod fish, home made coleslaw and boiled new potatoes with butter and herbs. Bits of fried onion from leftover, boiled some carrots, fried some fries. Because I was lazy with doing the dishes later, I piled everything on the plate. Kinda like those fish & chips you get at a western food stall at a coffee shop :)

On Sunday, we had bbq ribs. I love ribs and can usually finish a full slab and thought could be a nice variation to our Christmas dinner this year since we're not having any turkey.

I had the ribs marinating in the fridge for almost 24 hours, and the end result? De-li-cious....

This weekend, I'm thinking desserts.

Spam and Egg Sandwich

Actually, it's the Sperm Meets Egg Plan (SMEP). Can't help but think of spam and egg sandwich I used to love so much as a kid.

I came across this term while surfing the web sometime back. Typically for women who are trying again after  miscarriage, or first-timers who want to do all they can to increase their chances of getting pregnant.

It's really interesting, although it sounds stupid. Here's what you need to do:

• On the 8th day of your cycle, BD every other day (so day 8, 10, 12... and so on)
• Begin ovulation testing on day 10 and every day until its positive (it's gonna hurt a little on your pockets, but if you're serious about it, you won't feel the pinch)
• When the test is positive, BD that night, and the subsequent 2 nights.
• Stop on the 4th night, then once more on 5th and stop. Let the waiting begins
• If the ovulation test never goes positive, keep BD-ing every other night until day 35
• Statistics show that 40% of women after miscarriage will get pregnant on the first try if they still faithful to this plan, about double the number of normal population who are not on the plan.

Sounds so straightforward, I bet it's not. I'm also willing to try it starting tonight, with Pre-seed. 

Day 8 was yesterday really. I took Pre-seed out, read the instructions, yelled out to DH who was doing some work, waited for him to go to the shower, read the instructions again and.... fell fast asleep even before he came outta the shower. I was that tired.

Go spam & egg, go!!

Out

I'm out this month even before starting the cycle.

DH is going to be away on business during THE MOST fertile days.

Boy oh boy. Out before even trying. Hmpf.

The only good thing that comes out from this - is that I can indulge in all the wine and bubbly during this festive season.

Bleah.

Better Luck Next Month

I was almost 53% sure that this month was the month.

Except I'm 100% sure now I'm not. The nasty AF witch appeared, and early. I was thankful for the fact that it came right before I went into the theatre to indulge in a 2-hour long of vampire and human making out. Edward Cullen took my mind off the witch and I forgotten I had a tampon in me after the movie. I was just basking in Edward's love.

Um hem... pardon me for that teenage streak. But you see, I had to explain to DH why I love Edward. It's all about the romance and sacrifice which I know is all fantasy. That's what made it appealing. You know it's hardly ever gonna happen in real life. DH is all "whatsup with that whiney Eddy?"... "you never reject your wife when she's begging you for sex...".

I digressed.

I had a tampon in my handbag and as we were leaving the car, I took one and put it in my purse. And then, in classic LadyInWaiting manner, I took it out again. "Nah... it can't be so soon."

What did they say about Murphy's Law? Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Movie's about to start in 10 minutes, I had 3 tampons in the car, I could either rush to the car park or just get another box of OBs from the store next door. I chose the latter, of course, and pampered myself with a gift for the next cycle while I was there - Pre-Seed.

The ladies on various TTC forums seem to have very positive reviews about it and a few of them even had a BFP on their first cycle with Pre-Seed.

I didn't think baby-making would be so.... technical.

Essentially, it's a lubricant that helps couples who are TTC produce more EWCM so that it gives the sperm a... conducive environment to stay in for about 72 hours before making it to the one and only egg. The stringe looking tubes are applicators for you to insert the lube into your vajayjay about 10-15 minutes before BD-ing. I'm not sure if it'll work, but I'm happy to try it for the next cycle.

Right now, while the witch is here, I can have almost 2 weeks off from babymaking.

Till the next 2ww.

Dilemma

I'm in a little bit of a dilemma here.

If I'm not pregnant this month, I'm contemplating one of the other.

To get a basal thermometre and start taking my temperature every morning to pin down the O-day, in other words, obsess further.

Or, not give a hoot about charting anymore. Just do it.

Torn.

In All Fairness

Someone asked me the other day..."so how long have you been TTC?"

Let's see.

For about 3 months in my previous company, then I decided I'm going to leave the firm after 5 years. Stopped for 3-4 months as I adjust to the new work environment. Wasn't sure what the policy was like in the new place, didn't think it was nice to get knocked up in less than 3 months in the new firm. Turns out, they have a pretty cool policy and I started sometime in September.

So in all fairness, we've been only actively trying for 3 months... but I've definitely been talking about it for ages!

6 DPO

I shouldn't be feeling what I felt yesterday and this morning, i.e. ovulation-like cramps.

My tummy was so bloated and crampy yesterday, it felt like any other o-day, except, o-day was 6 days ago. Unless this time my ovaries decided to take a longer break.

I hate these fake symptoms during TWW... they make me stalk those pregnancy forums and every single feeling I get could be a sign... "was that a sharp stab in my boobs?"... "why do I feel like gagging in the toilet?"


That's because the restroom stinks and the cleaning lady has not made her rounds yet.

I feel like Dr Jerkyll and Ms Hyde.

Oh well.

What No One Told You About Having a Baby...

And it's deeply heartening to learn I'm not alone in turning into the monster I am.

1. Unprotected sex doesnt necessarily lead to pregnancy
2. The longer you try, the more pregnant women spring up around you
3. Living and planning your life in two weeks increment is a norm
4. I wish we had started TTC earlier
5. Women who do get pregnant are very blessed
6. Talking about sex with fellow TTCers would be so easy
7. I am bitter about unmarried accidental pregnancies. A little less bitter with married accidental pregnancies.
8. Worrying about all my talk on TTC might bore my best friend
9. I would sometimes resent the phrase "take it easy and don't stress about it" (Try it and tell me if you don't think about when your AF comes every month!! Or if it "just happened" to you, refer to point #7)
10. Finding out how impatient I am

Source: http://www.twoweekwait.com/what-no-one-told-you

Acronyms for the Uninitiated

So I've been browsing some websites recently, and all those acronyms made no sense to me at all, until I found this.

So when the ladies go "I'm so disappointed when AF came..". Obviously it must be the menses but who knows what it actually stands for. Now I do.. Aunt Flo.

Instead of telling your girlfriends that you and hubby need to make love tonight, you say "we need to baby dance (BD) tonight..". Perhaps doesn't sound as crude?

"I cried when I saw the BFN" - that's Big Fat Negative. You know what BFP is then.

Guess I'll be really disappointed when AF is here, or seeing that BFN even after too much BD with my hubby.

: )