Feeling baby's movements is a huge milestone. But having baby respond to you is even more amazing. Whilst there is a very high chance that I had imagined this, for now, I'd like to think it really did happen.
Yesterday morning, as I was propped up against the bed playing a game of Free Cells on my iPad, I thought of this random song and started singing. When I stopped singing, B kicked me. I'm like.. "oh hello, you're awake, did my singing wake you up?". Then I continued doing whatever I was doing, and sang another song. When that song ended, B kicked me again!
Could it be... is it even possible.. that maybe... B liked my singing? So I experimented. I sang a few phrases and I stopped. I sang and I stopped. Each time I stopped, B kicked me! At that moment, I knew our bonding has started. It was so touching that I cried, and DH was shocked when he came into the room. When I told him what happened, I know he didn't quite buy it totally, but still felt excited about it. Afterall, he felt baby's kick the night before.
It does sound a little unbelievable, but hey, I'm living my dreams now. :)
Monday, November 26, 2012
Friday, November 23, 2012
I Will "Chagi" and "Chirugi" You - I'm A TaeKwonDo Black Belt Baby
When I read that the first quickenings can be felt between 16-20 weeks, I thought, oh goody, I wonder how it will feel like. It has been reported to feel like gas bubbling or butterflies fluttering. For first time mums, sometimes you won't even realize it and mistake it for something else.
But towards the end of my 16th week, one day at work, I thought I felt 3 knocks in my lower abdomen. It was kinda like 3 individual big bubbles bursting? Can't quite describe it well, but I thought it felt weird. Later that day, I felt it again, and every day ever since.
Last night was the most active B has been. I was in watching tv and I kept feeling his movements. DH was away so I texted him,
"Thankfully I now have B to accompany me you're traveling. He's been kicking me non-stop"
"Oh, now you have B, you don't need me anymore"
"B is awesome, so active"
"Oh dear, I hope not as hyperactive as [nephew] when he was younger"
"It's ok, I love his kicks soooo much. And he's definitely more active at night"
"His father is a taekwondo black belter"
At that, I laughed out loud. Trust him to think of that.
It will be such a sight to see little B with his daddy in taekwondo outfit.
But towards the end of my 16th week, one day at work, I thought I felt 3 knocks in my lower abdomen. It was kinda like 3 individual big bubbles bursting? Can't quite describe it well, but I thought it felt weird. Later that day, I felt it again, and every day ever since.
Last night was the most active B has been. I was in watching tv and I kept feeling his movements. DH was away so I texted him,
"Thankfully I now have B to accompany me you're traveling. He's been kicking me non-stop"
"Oh, now you have B, you don't need me anymore"
"B is awesome, so active"
"Oh dear, I hope not as hyperactive as [nephew] when he was younger"
"It's ok, I love his kicks soooo much. And he's definitely more active at night"
"His father is a taekwondo black belter"
At that, I laughed out loud. Trust him to think of that.
It will be such a sight to see little B with his daddy in taekwondo outfit.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
A Nursing Mum
Before getting pregnant, I always thought breastfeeding is a given, i.e. you give birth to a baby, you breastfeed baby. But after doing some research and hearing other's breastfeeding stories, it is NOT a given. Not many women can nurse their babies for various reasons. And of course, if I have a choice, I'd choose to breastfeed for as long and as much as I can.
For some strange reasons, last night was the second time I've dreamt of breastfeeding Bradley (oh yes, we've named our boy!) since I got pregnant. The dream was so vivid I recall the process being so incredulous. Witnessing the baby suckle on, it felt great that you are able to provide for him.
Obviously, a dream is just a dream right?
But my life now is filled with dreams. Dreams of how our lives would be when Bradley enters the world; dreams of what kind of parents we would be; dreams of how much joy Bradley will bring to us. Thinking of these dreams bring a smile to my face. How is it possible to miss or love someone without even meeting them yet?
Our last visit to Dr W, she gave us many printouts of Bradley - his side view, bottom view, his tiny feet, and his face! I scanned a couple of it and saved it on my phone. Every day, I will look at the shot of his face - it's amazing you can make out his eyes and his facial expression looked like he was smiling - and smile to myself. We made this little guy. I can't wait to meet him. But every day, I also worry if I'm providing enough for him, is he growing ok, the worries just don't stop, do they?
On a lighter note, my friend who had a miscarriage in August seems to have good news again. Looks like she's pregnant again. I've heard of success stories of how after a mc, one will get pregnant again pretty soon. Looks like she's just proven it. I'm so happy for her. Afterall, it was her initial pregnancy that got me so motivated into trying again.
Meanwhile, the countdown to seeing Bradley again begins. 26 more days!!
For some strange reasons, last night was the second time I've dreamt of breastfeeding Bradley (oh yes, we've named our boy!) since I got pregnant. The dream was so vivid I recall the process being so incredulous. Witnessing the baby suckle on, it felt great that you are able to provide for him.
Obviously, a dream is just a dream right?
But my life now is filled with dreams. Dreams of how our lives would be when Bradley enters the world; dreams of what kind of parents we would be; dreams of how much joy Bradley will bring to us. Thinking of these dreams bring a smile to my face. How is it possible to miss or love someone without even meeting them yet?
Our last visit to Dr W, she gave us many printouts of Bradley - his side view, bottom view, his tiny feet, and his face! I scanned a couple of it and saved it on my phone. Every day, I will look at the shot of his face - it's amazing you can make out his eyes and his facial expression looked like he was smiling - and smile to myself. We made this little guy. I can't wait to meet him. But every day, I also worry if I'm providing enough for him, is he growing ok, the worries just don't stop, do they?
On a lighter note, my friend who had a miscarriage in August seems to have good news again. Looks like she's pregnant again. I've heard of success stories of how after a mc, one will get pregnant again pretty soon. Looks like she's just proven it. I'm so happy for her. Afterall, it was her initial pregnancy that got me so motivated into trying again.
Meanwhile, the countdown to seeing Bradley again begins. 26 more days!!
Monday, November 19, 2012
The Waiting Game
As the pregnancy progresses, I guess no news is good news. Physically, I feel great and normal. Psychologically, I'm still grappling with the fact I'm carrying a baby, which gives me a new high every day. Rubbing my belly in circular motions is strangely comforting. I read somewhere that its equally comforting for the baby as well.
With regard to the baby's room, we haven't had much done, I kept telling myself it's too early. I don't want to buy and decorate the room and have to start cleaning the stuff every week. So far, we've only fixed up the cot, which we got second hand from a contact and it is in great condition. I love the fact that every time we walk past the room, the cot is in sight. It makes everything more real.
We've completed the jigsaw puzzle that I bought to decorate the room, it took us lesser time than expected, and I love the end result. I hope our boy will like it too. Someday, we'd love to take him scuba diving with us and explore the underwater world.
With regard to the baby's room, we haven't had much done, I kept telling myself it's too early. I don't want to buy and decorate the room and have to start cleaning the stuff every week. So far, we've only fixed up the cot, which we got second hand from a contact and it is in great condition. I love the fact that every time we walk past the room, the cot is in sight. It makes everything more real.
We've completed the jigsaw puzzle that I bought to decorate the room, it took us lesser time than expected, and I love the end result. I hope our boy will like it too. Someday, we'd love to take him scuba diving with us and explore the underwater world.
We bought a frame from Ikea and will put it up in the room tonight. It will add so much more colour to the almost empty room now. Baby steps....
Monday, November 12, 2012
It's Pink, It's Blue, It's Pink, It's Blue, It's.....
Last Friday, we woke up feeling extremely excited and happy. Because we were going to Dr W's for the 16 weeks scan. Also, we were hoping to be able to find out baby's gender.
Dr W's clinic was quiet that morning, she had a surgery in the afternoon and we didn't have to wait long before our turn. During the wait, I got a text from my sisters who were on holiday in the States asking if we found out about the gender. They were at Baby Gosh outlet and wanting to start buying baby's clothes. It didn't help with them sending me pictures of adorable onesies with taglines like "Daddy and I Agree Mommy is the Boss". I told them to give me 20 minutes and I'll give them the update, provided baby cooperates.
It was always a pleasure to see Dr W - she's so smiley, cheerful and happy! She asked how I felt, and I went "nervous!". She instantly put me at ease by saying, "ok then, let's go and see if we can find out the baby's gender".
It so happened she had a new ultrasound machine in that day, and the sonographer was there to help her. So she took her time with me, I've no complaints! I saw baby from various angles, enjoying while they chatted away on the various functions of the machine. Then Dr W said, "can you see anything?". In that instant, I saw it. And I shouted my question to Dr W, "it's a boy?!?!?!?!" and she laughed. I couldn't stopped laughing, not because we have been yearning for a boy (either didn't matter), but baby's little organ was soooo obvious and cute.
Now I know cute is not the right word to describe a penis, it most certainly isn't cute. But I am obsessed with my baby's! I asked Dr W if it's most certain a boy, and while she didn't want to give it a 100%, she gave it 90%, saying especially if the mummy can tell, it's quite definite. I guess we'll have to wait till the detailed scan to get a confirmed answer, but meanwhile, I'm already telling people I'm having a boy!
Thanks for being so cooperative, baby. I know the moment we saw your penis, you started to slowly close your legs. You must be thinking your job is done, you can go back to doing what you've been doing, and mummy won't bug you every day to open your legs. The incessant bugging must be driving you crazy.
Well now, the next thing I'd like to feel from you, it's not a demand, more like a request, is for me to feel your movements! But it's ok, take your time, I know it will come eventually.
Dr W's clinic was quiet that morning, she had a surgery in the afternoon and we didn't have to wait long before our turn. During the wait, I got a text from my sisters who were on holiday in the States asking if we found out about the gender. They were at Baby Gosh outlet and wanting to start buying baby's clothes. It didn't help with them sending me pictures of adorable onesies with taglines like "Daddy and I Agree Mommy is the Boss". I told them to give me 20 minutes and I'll give them the update, provided baby cooperates.
It was always a pleasure to see Dr W - she's so smiley, cheerful and happy! She asked how I felt, and I went "nervous!". She instantly put me at ease by saying, "ok then, let's go and see if we can find out the baby's gender".
It so happened she had a new ultrasound machine in that day, and the sonographer was there to help her. So she took her time with me, I've no complaints! I saw baby from various angles, enjoying while they chatted away on the various functions of the machine. Then Dr W said, "can you see anything?". In that instant, I saw it. And I shouted my question to Dr W, "it's a boy?!?!?!?!" and she laughed. I couldn't stopped laughing, not because we have been yearning for a boy (either didn't matter), but baby's little organ was soooo obvious and cute.
Now I know cute is not the right word to describe a penis, it most certainly isn't cute. But I am obsessed with my baby's! I asked Dr W if it's most certain a boy, and while she didn't want to give it a 100%, she gave it 90%, saying especially if the mummy can tell, it's quite definite. I guess we'll have to wait till the detailed scan to get a confirmed answer, but meanwhile, I'm already telling people I'm having a boy!
Thanks for being so cooperative, baby. I know the moment we saw your penis, you started to slowly close your legs. You must be thinking your job is done, you can go back to doing what you've been doing, and mummy won't bug you every day to open your legs. The incessant bugging must be driving you crazy.
Well now, the next thing I'd like to feel from you, it's not a demand, more like a request, is for me to feel your movements! But it's ok, take your time, I know it will come eventually.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Letter to Baby
Dear Baby,
Today, I wore one of my favourite blue dress which I haven't wore since finding out I am expecting you. It's a wrap dress that accentuates your body curve and I figured I probably shouldn't wear it in the early days of pregnancy as it might make me look flabby around the belly area. But yesterday, a colleague came up to me and said, "you're starting to show a little bit, I saw from afar and meant to tell you this morning". And when I went to Grandma's place, she and your Uncle J made the same comment. So I wanted to see for myself if its true. You know how I've been looking at the mirror everyday, so really, if there were changes, I couldn't quite tell it myself.
But this morning, I had a shock when I saw my reflection in the office pantry as I was preparing our breakfast. It has indeed grown my love. I texted Daddy to let him know, and he was elated. He said your party in the belly is beginning. See how proud we are of you? We cannot wait for this Friday to come faster so we can see you again.
Till then, keep growing.
Love,
Mummy
Today, I wore one of my favourite blue dress which I haven't wore since finding out I am expecting you. It's a wrap dress that accentuates your body curve and I figured I probably shouldn't wear it in the early days of pregnancy as it might make me look flabby around the belly area. But yesterday, a colleague came up to me and said, "you're starting to show a little bit, I saw from afar and meant to tell you this morning". And when I went to Grandma's place, she and your Uncle J made the same comment. So I wanted to see for myself if its true. You know how I've been looking at the mirror everyday, so really, if there were changes, I couldn't quite tell it myself.
But this morning, I had a shock when I saw my reflection in the office pantry as I was preparing our breakfast. It has indeed grown my love. I texted Daddy to let him know, and he was elated. He said your party in the belly is beginning. See how proud we are of you? We cannot wait for this Friday to come faster so we can see you again.
Till then, keep growing.
Love,
Mummy
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
The Journey
I don't think I ever shared what I did differently the month we conceived, or at least what I felt we did right.
I distinctly recall starting to try in August 2011 - I went on a girls' only trip to Hong Kong with G and stayed with J, we had the best time ever. Our last day in Hong Kong, I smoked my last cigarette and decided that was the last stick. When I return to SG, I'm going to start concentrating on making babies, no more cigarettes. And I went cold turkey.
I did not smoke for the next 8-9 months, but that was also the time I got discouraged after months of trying. So I decided, what the heck, I'm not going to be so anal about it, I'll just drink and be merry and smoke socially.
Until I finally decided to see the TCM practitioner and spent a bomb on my first visit, I decided not to waste the money and do exactly what I should be doing, i.e. stop smoking, stop drinking (tough), start taking bbt religiously and more importantly, keep having sex.
In the past, I've tried using Preseed, a lubricant that supposedly is safe for couples TTC. I didn't like it, it made such a mess and really takes the fun out of the already chore-like sex.
What I felt really made the difference, was not the chinese medicine, but the fact that I've been charting my temps religiously every day. That gave me a rough indication when I have or have not ovulated and timed our intimacy accordingly. Coupled with the TCM that supposedly helped to strengthen the uterus lining, it was bingo.
After a year of trying, which felt like forever, I think the best investment a couple should make when TTC is to get a basal body thermometer. And a right mindset. That will take you far ahead in your journey to parenthood.
Monday, November 5, 2012
"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come" Mother Theresa
What I've been feeling of late.. why does it seems like its happening so quickly yet slow at the same time?
It seems like it was only yesterday I tested positive on the first test kit, but I'm into my 15th weeks now. This weekend, I'll be four months pregnant. Everything is happening so fast yet so slow. Fast because that means I effective only have about approximately 20+ weeks to go, but slow every time I need to wait four weeks for my gynae appointment!
Thankfully, we won't have to wait too long this week. We are seeing little baby this Friday. I've been talking to baby, telling baby to cooperate and open the legs wide on Friday for Dr W to see the genital. It is probably the only time I'll ask him/her to open the legs wide, especially if she's a girl, then the chances of me wanting her to open her legs wide in the future will be zero.
See you soon, my dear little one. Remember to open your legs!
It seems like it was only yesterday I tested positive on the first test kit, but I'm into my 15th weeks now. This weekend, I'll be four months pregnant. Everything is happening so fast yet so slow. Fast because that means I effective only have about approximately 20+ weeks to go, but slow every time I need to wait four weeks for my gynae appointment!
Thankfully, we won't have to wait too long this week. We are seeing little baby this Friday. I've been talking to baby, telling baby to cooperate and open the legs wide on Friday for Dr W to see the genital. It is probably the only time I'll ask him/her to open the legs wide, especially if she's a girl, then the chances of me wanting her to open her legs wide in the future will be zero.
See you soon, my dear little one. Remember to open your legs!
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