Letter to Baby - II

Bradley,

As we bid goodbye to 2012 and countdown to the new year, Mummy wants to look back the year in retrospect. 2012, what a year it has been.

I remembered entering 2012 with a "relevation" - that I wasn't going to actively try for a baby. Trying for the last 4 months had been tiring. Yes, by now you might have realised, Mummy isn't the most patient person in the world. I hope you don't take after me in this aspect. Daddy and I decided to take a break from trying and we continued our lives as DINK - dual income no kids. Life was good, but I think there was a void somewhere, somehow.

In July, Daddy celebrated his 40th birthday. I had a big party planned just for the family and a couple of close friends. It was a night of fun, no doubt I swear Dad probably can't remember much of it. Too much alcohol, too quickly and not enough food. Baby, remember this always, drinking is fine, but always know your limits and don't overdo it. Oh and also, always line your stomach before you drink and alternate with glasses of water in between. And, never, never ever drink and drive. But let's hold this conversation for 18 years later.

In August, we were originally going to do a trip to Perth and Margaret River with Aunt A, Uncle T and your two cousins. Alas, we canned the trip, but I think perhaps it was a blessing in disguise now that I look back. Daddy and I had the entire week off, so we did a little touristy stuff in Singapore, we went to Pulau Ubin, we went to Gardens by the Bay, had a drink at Ku De Ta, fine dining at Senso, brunch at Rider's Cafe, cooked a storm at home, you name it, we did it. August was a good month, there was two public holidays, National Day and Hari Raya, both long weekends.

For some strange reasons unknown, Mummy decided to POAS (pee on a stick, stick being the pregnancy test kit) on the eve of Hari Raya, a Sunday. I wasn't exactly late, but my basal temperature had been consistently high so, why not? I had one more test kit left. So peed on the stick I did, and waited for the results I did. Perhaps I wasn't used to those test strips, I stared at it for so long and thought I'd imagined a faint line. I dismantled the kit, took the strip out, and stared at it even longer. I showed it to Daddy and asked if he sees anything. "Yeah, there's a line. What does that mean?"

It's impossible. I swore I had done something wrong - maybe I hadn't peed enough, maybe I peed too much, maybe my peed drowned the result. It's just not possible. I wasn't late yet, I had no symptoms. I took a picture of the test result and sent it to my friend K. She saw the line and said congrats. I didn't want to pin too high hopes. Later that night, Daddy and I went to buy 2 more test kits. I couldn't sleep at all that night, all I did was wait for morning to come so I could test again. When dawn finally came, the word "pregnant" also flashed on the digital test kit. Baby, the happiness overwhelmed and consumed me. One day, I hope you can share this feeling of joy with your significant other.

The rest, is history. September came and I celebrated my 28th birthday. It was extremely low key with Daddy on a business trip. But somehow, it was my best birthday. You were my best birthday present. I couldn't have asked for more. Now, as I sit here and type this letter to you, feeling your constant kicks and looking at my tummy moves with each of your movements, I'm overwhelmed again with emotions. What a year it has been, from trying to conceive, to taking a break, to successfully conceiving you, to seeing you on the ultrasound screen, feeling your movements, it is all worth it, my love. You have no idea how special you are. Without being born yet, you've taught Mummy and Daddy to love deeper again, a love we never knew existed. You've taught us what is responsibility and more importantly, family ties. Always remember, you will hold a very special place in our hearts and you are indeed a gift from heaven that we will always cherish.

12 more hours to 2013, it will be a great year my love. You will be great.

Love,
Mummy.