When DH drops me off at work, it's usually a good 5-8 minutes slow walk to get to my office. During this time, my mind wanders all over the place, depending on what comes into my view.
For instance, some days, I walk past executives smoking at designated smoking areas and thought "how smelly they are. Do I use to smell like that too?" and sometimes I go "Dang I miss smoking".
Sometimes, as I cross the roads and look at my reflection, I wonder if the motorists who sees me can tell I'm pregnant.
Today, I saw an expat mother in her exercise outfit, pushing a stroller. My mind wandered away to seeing DH and myself taking Bradley for a walk in the park, him in his stroller, looking back at us with his alert eyes and us just talking about anything under the sun.
There is so much I want to give to Bradley. I want him to feel the love of family, I want him to feel his parents' undying love, I want him to know how much we treasure him even before he's born into this world, I want him to know that he's all I can think about when I'm carrying him, I want him to know that whatever decisions I made, it's him and DH that I think about first.
I don't know if I will be a good parent, but I'll try my best. That's my responsibility and the least I can do the moment we've decided to bring you to this world. You ought to deserve the best we can give.
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