Dr Sears Tips - Part II

4. Therapeutic Writing

When you’ve reached your wit’s end, send your high-need child out to the park with father or a freiend and sit down with your journal. Writing gives you the opportunity to examine your feelings about yourself, your parenting, and your child. It forces you to take inventory and proceed with what’s working and discard what isn’t. Journalizing helps you focus on the positive parts of your child rather than on the negative, and it enables you to see that like is getting better.

Well, here we are. Enough said.

5. BE POSITIVE

Your early feelings about having a high need child may be so full of negatives (“doesn’t sleep,” “won’t settle,” “uncuddly,” “unpredictable,” “stubborn”) that you fail to see the flowers beneath the weeds. The payoff in parenting a high need child is that beneath every apparent “negative” trait lies a positive one. Once you pick the weeds (yours and baby’s), you see a flower blossom, sometimes so beautifully you forget that pile of weeds.

To be honest, B's naps are getting so much better these days and there barely is a fight or struggle. I wouldn't even go to the extent of calling it a "negative trait". He's just a baby! He can sleep longer too. Most importantly, amidst the challenges, he's a healthy, active, happy baby. Dr Z gave the reassurance and I'm just enjoying time with him.

6. BE PATIENT

Personalities don’t change in a day. It may take months of hourly baby- mellowing to notice progress. 

We make allowances for his personality and temperament and give him time to catch up rather than pushing him to “straighten up” now. Sometimes I just resigned myself to the fact that my child cried a lot and I couldn’t always fix it, but I could at least be there.

I keep reminding myself, he's just a baby. I have to be patient with a helpless baby who can't communicate his needs yet. Crying is the only form. Patience. Zen.