What Are The Odds?

I am afraid of lizards. Scratch that, I am terrified. Damnit, terrified seems like an understatement.

I think I might know the reason for this phobia. See, I grew up with three older sisters and for some reason, every time one of them spots a lizard, the entire house is filled with screams. And then a lot of jumping and running around. Best part, if we hear someone screams, we all start running away from that source. We know what that scream means. Yes, it was frantic and chaotic.

As the years passed, I think lizards = screams. You see one, you scream. You hear someone screaming because of one, you scream and run.

Maybe the lizards (I just can't type the word without cringing) can detect the cortisol level and perhaps attracted to it. Because I swear they are attracted to me, or I attract them, or they get a kick from my screaming. Whatever.

Every single time DH goes away on a business trip, I have to deal with an unexpected guest in my house. Every goddamn time! Even after having him check the house before leaving.

Last night, I had to deal with it again - I was getting ready for bed but wanted a glass of water. That thing was one the wall when I stepped out of the room and my first reaction wasn't even a scream. I groaned. It took me 20 minutes, 3/4 can of pesticide and pesticide-covered floor to kill that thing. And then another 10 minutes to make sure its dead, and got rid of it.

By then end of the whole debacle, my shirt was soaked in sweat, body tensed and I was still shaking. The fear hits me and I couldn't sleep. Each time I closed my eyes, I see that damn thing wriggling. Arghhhh.

What are the odds of this happening every time he goes away?! I swear the easiest way to murder me is really to lock me in a room full of those things.

DH is back on Thurs, so god help me please. I've ran out of pesticide. Please.