Thursday, January 2, 2014

Woes of a First Time Mum

Being a mother is the most difficult thing I've been tasked with, ever.

I'd always done well in school, in extra-curriculum activities, at work. Despite my rebellious teenage years, I scored in my O Levels. Despite my hatred for my JC, I somehow ended up being the president of the club I was in. Despite not sitting for my As, I managed to do well in my diploma while working at the same time. I often top the class when doing my degree. At work, I have more often than not been recognised for my efforts, hard work and being a leader. All these, if you realise, are things within my control. 

As a mother, there are MANY things that are beyond my control. Such as baby's sleeping habits. I guess one could argue about sleep training, but unfortunately to me, it is not an option. I am sure there are many mothers out there who have successfully trained their babies and are reaping the fruit. Like I mentioned before, there are always different camps and school of thoughts.

As I was about to launch into a whole load of whiny, sob story about B's napping habits, I paused. Because I was trying to think what other problems/challenges I've faced with him, besides his naps. Seriously, there isn't. I know I'll probably jinx it by saying this but whatever, I should count my blessing and be thankful for an easy baby. He is such a happy and playful baby most of the time. The only difficult moments with him are his nap times. But this only happened after I stopped putting him in a sarong, so I guess the fault is mine.

He falls asleep easily when I'm wearing him, but I did not want it to be a habit. Again, stubborn me. What's the difference with putting him in a carrier and then put him back in the cot when he's asleep versus carrying him and rocking him to sleep, then putting him in the cot? I am so stubborn and rigid that I'm upset with myself. But, I'm trying. Really trying to let it go.

So instead of how this post was originally gonna be, complain complain complain, I think this post will serve as a reminder to me - everytime I want to complain about how tough my life is... think about how it could be worse.

Sorry baby. Mummy's been selfish and isn't doing a great job. Bear with me while I try harder.

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