Saturday, January 18, 2014

A Guilty Mum's Confession

B was up 10+ last night and didn't go back to sleep till almost 1... Same thing happened at 4+ and still awake at 6. I nearly turned violent on him because I tell you that boy is freakishly stubborn. Wonder where he got that from. 😒

Then my guilty conscience set in. I imagined myself in the poor darling's shoes.

"Dear Mummy,

Hi. Hiiiii -sweetest smile- You like this smile don't you? It always melt your heart you said.

I dunno why I keep waking up at nights for the last few months too. Remember those days where I could sleep till 4-5+ without waking up? Man those were shiok. I think it all started when my tooth began to cut through. Very irritating! You know how you get the feeling when your gums are sore, especially when your left wisdom tooth kept pushing through? You complained to dad how irritating and painful it was? Yeah, that was what I went through, except I don't know how to react or to let you know except to keep crying to vent my frustrations. I was sleepy yet too painful to sleep. 很痛苦你知道吗?

Maybe ever since then, my body kinda gotten use to waking up at those hours. I'm not hungry, yet you kept forcing me to drink. On good nights I can finish the 60ml you make, otherwise just 30ml to quench my thirst. Luckily I'm no longer drinking your milk and on fm instead, otherwise you will keep complaining I waste your liquid gold. 我都不想喝!

When you scolded me this morning, asking me "what the hell you want? Nobody can sleep now". I dunno either. I also didn't get much sleep. Later on you left me in my play yard alone, I was relieved. Because I really couldn't sleep! Then you came out from shower and invaded my space, held me up and squeezed me so tightly, asking me to forgive you. Of course I forgive you mummy, in fact I forgot what happened. Why were we up so early? You and daddy are all I know and used to since coming into this strange world. You make me feel relieved and comforted every time things look strange and scary. Although I missed being in your womb,it was all cozy and warm and I are whenever I felt like it.

So anyway mummy, I love you. Hope we can sleep through the nights in the coming months.

Your 心肝宝贝 signing off

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