Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Who Is Mummy Before Being A Mum?

Bradley,

One day, you are probably gonna think mummy is boring, uncool and maybe find me embarrassing to hang out with. But baby, mummy had another life before you came along.

Today, as I was driving us to Polliwogs at Vivo, I had the iPod on instead of your CD. There's so many times of "Grand Old Duke of York" I can listen and sing too. U2's song played and I was singing at the top of my voice. It brought back 
sweet sweet memories when daddy and I flew to Sydney just to attend their concert. Then Coldplay's song came along and I thought of the concert we attended here and how close we were standing to Chris Martin. He has really blue attractive eyes.

Before I was your mummy, I was havoc and wild. I bet you don't believe it but mummy was young before. In my teens, I loved clubbing but grew outta it rather fast. Then I married your dad and we enjoyed our time at home, having our happy hour. The copius amount of alcohol we drink is ridiculous. There was once we went on a holiday and started drinking at 8 in the morning. I won't stop you from drinking but you need to practice self control and discipline. That's a conversation for another day.

Then there was all those weeknight a drinking with my friends. We would have bottles after bottles of champagne like there was much to celebrate. Well, I guess we were celebrating being independent, financially stable women.

When you came along, much of this had to change. We have to be more responsible and less reckless now. We need to make sure your welfare and benefits come first. I stopped working, hence no personal income. Day in and out my mind is occupied on what I should feed you, how I should care and provide for you, how to be a better parent. Sometimes I feel myself drifting away from being Pauline. It is tough to try to be Pauline yet daddy's wife and your mum. But as you grow, I see tinge of me coming back but I will always be more of Bradley's mum than anyone else.

So baby, one day, when you are so bored and sick of my naggings, when you have your own girlfriend or wife, don't forget about mummy's love for you. I might be old and forgetful then, but I will always love you, my firstborn.

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