Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Don't Rob My Son Of His Babyhood

Today's post is written entirely with my heart, not too much of my brain, i.e. written under extremely emotional circumstance.

Everything about my son is perfect. I bet every mothers feel the same about their child. Can you blame them? They spent almost 40 weeks carrying the little being in them, worrying about whether their uterus is providing them a conducive growth environment, worrying about whether they are growing well enough, fast enough, good enough.

Define enough.

Sure they are the guidelines set by the international healthcare industry. At 16 gestational weeks, the baby is supposed to be this length and weight. At 32 gestational weeks, baby is supposed to be growing and moving at this rate. At 4 weeks old, newborn baby should be 1kg heavier than their birth weight. At 6 months, babies should expect to see teeth sprouting out. At 9 months, baby should be able to... ... ... ...

You get the gist. Even before they are born, they are expected to do/perform something. No pressure.

I fall into the trap too. I read about what are some of the milestones baby are/can/maybe able to do at a certain age. And each time I read about the stage B is in, I give myself an internal pat. B is doing exactly what babies his age are doing, in fact, even earlier, more advanced etc.

But then it comes to walking.

He started cruising when he was about 10 months old. But because he's so fast, and I mean really fast at crawling, I don't think he has any incentive to walk. Either that, or his little body is just not ready. Sure, all of his peers have started walking long ago. But truth be told, I am not worried or bothered because having spend 24/7 with him, I know where he's at. Even the pd is not worried having seen him in action.

That said, over the last 3 weeks, he's been walking. Taking independent steps. But I realised the problem with him is - he wants speed. Instead of taking slow, steady steps, he rushes through and as though he's running. Typically example of 还没学走要学跑。(translation: learning to run before mastering walk). But he stands, squats and walks pretty well. I guess he just prefers to crawl? I'm not sure.

Today, after having one glorious hour of the entire of Petite Park to ourselves, this PRC mother and his Singaporean husband came in with their 18 months old daughter. How did I know she's 18months? Her mother made sure I knew. It all started cordially, when they were very amazed at how fast B was crawling. Then the hubby asked, "how old is he?"

"15 months".


Wife: 多大了?(How old is he?)
Husband: 15 月 (15 months)
Wife: 15月还不会走路?那他很迟走。我看要等18月才能走了 (Still can't walk at 15 months? Wow, he's a slow walker. I think he will only walk at 18 months).

At this point, the hubby was a little embarrassed and I was taken aback. B decided to at that point stand up and walked over to me.

Sure, what she said was true. My boy is a late walker.

But, so?

Not wanting to be in their presence anymore, I carried B and left the place. But as I was driving home, I got really mad. Why is a stranger making such a comment? My son is so innocent, and the over protective mother in me got really really upset that he had to be the recipient of such comment.

Then I realised, especially lately with the Primary 1 registration anxiety, society is as such. People tend to compare whether consciously or not. I bet I do that unknowingly too.

But all I ask for, especially from a fellow mother, is please refrain from insensitive remarks and don't rob my son of his rights as a baby.


  1. Just ignore what other say. You are the Mummy, you know best. Every baby grows at a different rate, so don't worry.