Bradley,
As we bid goodbye to 2012 and countdown to the new year, Mummy wants to look back the year in retrospect. 2012, what a year it has been.
I remembered entering 2012 with a "relevation" - that I wasn't going to actively try for a baby. Trying for the last 4 months had been tiring. Yes, by now you might have realised, Mummy isn't the most patient person in the world. I hope you don't take after me in this aspect. Daddy and I decided to take a break from trying and we continued our lives as DINK - dual income no kids. Life was good, but I think there was a void somewhere, somehow.
In July, Daddy celebrated his 40th birthday. I had a big party planned just for the family and a couple of close friends. It was a night of fun, no doubt I swear Dad probably can't remember much of it. Too much alcohol, too quickly and not enough food. Baby, remember this always, drinking is fine, but always know your limits and don't overdo it. Oh and also, always line your stomach before you drink and alternate with glasses of water in between. And, never, never ever drink and drive. But let's hold this conversation for 18 years later.
In August, we were originally going to do a trip to Perth and Margaret River with Aunt A, Uncle T and your two cousins. Alas, we canned the trip, but I think perhaps it was a blessing in disguise now that I look back. Daddy and I had the entire week off, so we did a little touristy stuff in Singapore, we went to Pulau Ubin, we went to Gardens by the Bay, had a drink at Ku De Ta, fine dining at Senso, brunch at Rider's Cafe, cooked a storm at home, you name it, we did it. August was a good month, there was two public holidays, National Day and Hari Raya, both long weekends.
For some strange reasons unknown, Mummy decided to POAS (pee on a stick, stick being the pregnancy test kit) on the eve of Hari Raya, a Sunday. I wasn't exactly late, but my basal temperature had been consistently high so, why not? I had one more test kit left. So peed on the stick I did, and waited for the results I did. Perhaps I wasn't used to those test strips, I stared at it for so long and thought I'd imagined a faint line. I dismantled the kit, took the strip out, and stared at it even longer. I showed it to Daddy and asked if he sees anything. "Yeah, there's a line. What does that mean?"
It's impossible. I swore I had done something wrong - maybe I hadn't peed enough, maybe I peed too much, maybe my peed drowned the result. It's just not possible. I wasn't late yet, I had no symptoms. I took a picture of the test result and sent it to my friend K. She saw the line and said congrats. I didn't want to pin too high hopes. Later that night, Daddy and I went to buy 2 more test kits. I couldn't sleep at all that night, all I did was wait for morning to come so I could test again. When dawn finally came, the word "pregnant" also flashed on the digital test kit. Baby, the happiness overwhelmed and consumed me. One day, I hope you can share this feeling of joy with your significant other.
The rest, is history. September came and I celebrated my 28th birthday. It was extremely low key with Daddy on a business trip. But somehow, it was my best birthday. You were my best birthday present. I couldn't have asked for more. Now, as I sit here and type this letter to you, feeling your constant kicks and looking at my tummy moves with each of your movements, I'm overwhelmed again with emotions. What a year it has been, from trying to conceive, to taking a break, to successfully conceiving you, to seeing you on the ultrasound screen, feeling your movements, it is all worth it, my love. You have no idea how special you are. Without being born yet, you've taught Mummy and Daddy to love deeper again, a love we never knew existed. You've taught us what is responsibility and more importantly, family ties. Always remember, you will hold a very special place in our hearts and you are indeed a gift from heaven that we will always cherish.
12 more hours to 2013, it will be a great year my love. You will be great.
Love,
Mummy.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Counting Down to 2013
I have not been updating as much as I like, but these days, it's been really... calm. Nothing out of the ordinary, and I can't possibly be gushing in every post about how B's been kicking. I'm really just enjoying the pregnancy as much as I can, and enjoying bonding with him.
As with our yearly traditions, we had Xmas dinner at my sis'. Her ability to cook for 20 people is amazing.
As with our yearly traditions, we had Xmas dinner at my sis'. Her ability to cook for 20 people is amazing.
And as for us, we always have our little "family tradition" on Christmas. Just DH and I, with some home cooked food. Previous years, it's always roast chicken, this year I decided to try something else. One of my favourite dish, duck confit. I did the cheat version, only letting the duck marinate for 24 hours and then cooking it for 3 hours. The original duck confit I believe takes 2-3 days to make.
A few more days left to relax at home, knit and come up with dinner menus. Come next Wednesday, I'll be back at work with no more excuse that our team had a great year in 2012. All good results will be wiped clean and we have to start all over again. But on a high note, 2013 IS going to be a great year with baby on the way.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
New Hobby
I've taken up knitting recently. A colleague taught me. It's really fun and addictive, but you need to be patient. I've wasted quite a lot of yarn in the beginning, and now that I'm finally getting a hang of it, it's extremely rewarding to see the shape of whatever you're knitting form.
I've been told to start with a scarf as a beginner, as there isn't any fanciful shape - just repeating the stitches until you reached your desire length. I lost count of how many times I've re-done it, but the present one, although with a few mistakes, is what I will be sticking with for awhile.
I've been told to start with a scarf as a beginner, as there isn't any fanciful shape - just repeating the stitches until you reached your desire length. I lost count of how many times I've re-done it, but the present one, although with a few mistakes, is what I will be sticking with for awhile.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Detailed Scan
Also anomaly scan, typically offered to mothers at around 20-24 weeks, to check baby's vital organs are developing well, and mother's placenta is at the right place. We took the day off and set out bright and early in excitement.
As with most of the other scans we've did so far, it always involves waiting. We waited for about an hour, but considering we were early 30 minutes. The room we were in for the scan only had a monitor, so the sonographer was kind enough to explain that she'll probably need about 20 minutes to take all the measurements, before turning the screen to me and run me through the various scans she did.
First thing she asked was if we already knew the gender and if we wanted her to reconfirm. But of course! She said, "your baby is definitely not a shy little boy". His legs were wide open for her to see. Too bad I missed the scene. If it was done in another room with the overhead monitor, it would have been ideal, or even at Dr W's clinic.
DH managed to make out certain things on screen - like how B was clenching and opening his fists, and halfway through, his face, and I felt so left out. But best to let the sonographer do what she needs and not complain. Finally, when she needed to check his face, lips and nose, B decided to be shy. He covered his face with his left arm and not much could be seen. I had to be turned, prodded and made to cough, but he was pretty stubborn. So much for saying he wasn't shy! This little guy already has character. But, but, but, when the sonographer turned the screen to me and said, you see, he's covering his face and I am unable to see clearly, it was at that moment, he briefly lifted his hands and everyone went, "now!". I would love to think B did it for me, and in that brief moment, I saw his peaceful face and the time just stopped. It made everything I've gone through worth it - the agony of trying to conceive, the pains and aches involved during pregnancy... every bits of it are well worth it.
Happy to report that the results of the scan was very positive, everything looks fine and B is growing well. He's now too long to be measured by crown to rump, but would probably be about 20 cm now, and a healthy weight of 416g! I have put on the weight I've lost across the last 4 months and am now back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Next appointment, 14 January!
As with most of the other scans we've did so far, it always involves waiting. We waited for about an hour, but considering we were early 30 minutes. The room we were in for the scan only had a monitor, so the sonographer was kind enough to explain that she'll probably need about 20 minutes to take all the measurements, before turning the screen to me and run me through the various scans she did.
First thing she asked was if we already knew the gender and if we wanted her to reconfirm. But of course! She said, "your baby is definitely not a shy little boy". His legs were wide open for her to see. Too bad I missed the scene. If it was done in another room with the overhead monitor, it would have been ideal, or even at Dr W's clinic.
DH managed to make out certain things on screen - like how B was clenching and opening his fists, and halfway through, his face, and I felt so left out. But best to let the sonographer do what she needs and not complain. Finally, when she needed to check his face, lips and nose, B decided to be shy. He covered his face with his left arm and not much could be seen. I had to be turned, prodded and made to cough, but he was pretty stubborn. So much for saying he wasn't shy! This little guy already has character. But, but, but, when the sonographer turned the screen to me and said, you see, he's covering his face and I am unable to see clearly, it was at that moment, he briefly lifted his hands and everyone went, "now!". I would love to think B did it for me, and in that brief moment, I saw his peaceful face and the time just stopped. It made everything I've gone through worth it - the agony of trying to conceive, the pains and aches involved during pregnancy... every bits of it are well worth it.
Happy to report that the results of the scan was very positive, everything looks fine and B is growing well. He's now too long to be measured by crown to rump, but would probably be about 20 cm now, and a healthy weight of 416g! I have put on the weight I've lost across the last 4 months and am now back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Next appointment, 14 January!
Monday, December 10, 2012
Halfway Mark
We're getting there, 20 weeks already!
If it weren't for Dr W. being on vacation, we would have been scheduled to do the detailed scan this week. But because she's away, it got pushed to next Monday. Which works out fine as DH had to travel the whole of this week too.
Speaking of DH being out, its funny how I still feel lost and emotional when he's gone. Last night, he didn't have to leave home till 11pm and as I watched his back as he walked off, I couldn't help but tear up. It's been 6 years already! And I still feel this way. The only difference these days is, I don't feel alone anymore. The fact that I'm carrying B makes all the difference.
DH, on the other hand, feels worse than before, having to leave me alone at home. He gets a little paranoid that I'm unable to take care of myself. Love it when he sends me smses like "missing my two babies". Awwwww.
On Saturday, we were out and about, doing some Christmas shopping. One of the escalators at the mall weren't working, and we had to climb up the steps. By the time I reached the top, I was out of breath, and all of a sudden, I felt cold sweat, saw stars and wanted to puke. I also thought I might have peed in my pants. It took me about 10 minutes to recover, but boy that 10 minutes felt like eternity. I wasn't sure what happened, but I'm thinking the light-headedness might have something to do with heart pumping more blood. I did not pee in my pants, thankfully, but it was a gush of discharge. When I did get to check it out, turns out there was a small spot of blood. But I wasn't worried this time round, I think it was due to the sudden "cardio activity". Looks like my body is getting weaker, time to hit the swimming pool again I guess.
Next week my dear, we'll meet again! Meanwhile, keep those kicks and punches coming in strong and hard, I'm loving it.
If it weren't for Dr W. being on vacation, we would have been scheduled to do the detailed scan this week. But because she's away, it got pushed to next Monday. Which works out fine as DH had to travel the whole of this week too.
Speaking of DH being out, its funny how I still feel lost and emotional when he's gone. Last night, he didn't have to leave home till 11pm and as I watched his back as he walked off, I couldn't help but tear up. It's been 6 years already! And I still feel this way. The only difference these days is, I don't feel alone anymore. The fact that I'm carrying B makes all the difference.
DH, on the other hand, feels worse than before, having to leave me alone at home. He gets a little paranoid that I'm unable to take care of myself. Love it when he sends me smses like "missing my two babies". Awwwww.
On Saturday, we were out and about, doing some Christmas shopping. One of the escalators at the mall weren't working, and we had to climb up the steps. By the time I reached the top, I was out of breath, and all of a sudden, I felt cold sweat, saw stars and wanted to puke. I also thought I might have peed in my pants. It took me about 10 minutes to recover, but boy that 10 minutes felt like eternity. I wasn't sure what happened, but I'm thinking the light-headedness might have something to do with heart pumping more blood. I did not pee in my pants, thankfully, but it was a gush of discharge. When I did get to check it out, turns out there was a small spot of blood. But I wasn't worried this time round, I think it was due to the sudden "cardio activity". Looks like my body is getting weaker, time to hit the swimming pool again I guess.
Next week my dear, we'll meet again! Meanwhile, keep those kicks and punches coming in strong and hard, I'm loving it.
Monday, December 3, 2012
19 Weeks Thoughts
As I enter 19 weeks, my emotions are overdriving, but they are mostly good. I feel so blessed every single day, and I feel loved most importantly. Loved by my hubby, family and friends.
Every time we climb up or down flights of stairs, DH will annoyingly stop in front of me and hold my hand. I say annoyingly because it makes me feel imbecile. I always tell him, "I'm pregnant, not handicapped". But deep down, I feel so loved and appreciative. Although he nearly tripped the other day and I said to him, "don't drag me along if you fall!".
My family, asking me all the time how I feel. Mum brewing tonics and birds nest, cooking my favourite dishes. Nieces curious about pregnancy cravings and baby bump. Colleagues offering to carry things for me. It's nice being the centre of attention, but my centre revolves around the little mango covered in cheese like substance, measuring about 14cm at this point in the pregnancy.
Everything B kicks me, no matter how hard or soft, how sudden it is, I feel love. Love for the little life in me. How is it possible I ask myself all the time. I'm surprised at the love that I'm capable of that is beyond what I'm familiar or used to. Each kick is a reminder that he's real and a reminder of how our lives will be so very different in about 4 months time. 4 months!!
I had a little scare last week, something that is kinda traumatizing to recount again but I'm glad to say it was a false alarm and all is good. B's doing great and growing well. I even got to see him and his acrobatic actions on the ultrasound. Dr W mentioned he's an active baby and I beamed with pride.
Baby bump wise, I'm still not that big which I'm totally fine with it now. I think I was worried at first if baby was growing ok, especially since my tummy certainly wasn't. But hey, maybe all those months spent at the gym doing crunches and ab exercises was worth it - it toned up my tummy muscles, right? Have a look.
Every time we climb up or down flights of stairs, DH will annoyingly stop in front of me and hold my hand. I say annoyingly because it makes me feel imbecile. I always tell him, "I'm pregnant, not handicapped". But deep down, I feel so loved and appreciative. Although he nearly tripped the other day and I said to him, "don't drag me along if you fall!".
My family, asking me all the time how I feel. Mum brewing tonics and birds nest, cooking my favourite dishes. Nieces curious about pregnancy cravings and baby bump. Colleagues offering to carry things for me. It's nice being the centre of attention, but my centre revolves around the little mango covered in cheese like substance, measuring about 14cm at this point in the pregnancy.
Everything B kicks me, no matter how hard or soft, how sudden it is, I feel love. Love for the little life in me. How is it possible I ask myself all the time. I'm surprised at the love that I'm capable of that is beyond what I'm familiar or used to. Each kick is a reminder that he's real and a reminder of how our lives will be so very different in about 4 months time. 4 months!!
I had a little scare last week, something that is kinda traumatizing to recount again but I'm glad to say it was a false alarm and all is good. B's doing great and growing well. I even got to see him and his acrobatic actions on the ultrasound. Dr W mentioned he's an active baby and I beamed with pride.
Baby bump wise, I'm still not that big which I'm totally fine with it now. I think I was worried at first if baby was growing ok, especially since my tummy certainly wasn't. But hey, maybe all those months spent at the gym doing crunches and ab exercises was worth it - it toned up my tummy muscles, right? Have a look.
On a separate note, I think we're done with buying baby clothes for B! My colleague who gave me some maternity wear packed 3 bags full of baby clothes that her son outgrew. Even cute little booties, shoes, caps, PJs, onesies. Bless.....
With these, and the ones that my sisters bought from US, AND a few I bought online with a friend who was consolidating orders, B has even clothings to last till he's 12 months I think!
Monday, November 26, 2012
Yet Another Milestone
Feeling baby's movements is a huge milestone. But having baby respond to you is even more amazing. Whilst there is a very high chance that I had imagined this, for now, I'd like to think it really did happen.
Yesterday morning, as I was propped up against the bed playing a game of Free Cells on my iPad, I thought of this random song and started singing. When I stopped singing, B kicked me. I'm like.. "oh hello, you're awake, did my singing wake you up?". Then I continued doing whatever I was doing, and sang another song. When that song ended, B kicked me again!
Could it be... is it even possible.. that maybe... B liked my singing? So I experimented. I sang a few phrases and I stopped. I sang and I stopped. Each time I stopped, B kicked me! At that moment, I knew our bonding has started. It was so touching that I cried, and DH was shocked when he came into the room. When I told him what happened, I know he didn't quite buy it totally, but still felt excited about it. Afterall, he felt baby's kick the night before.
It does sound a little unbelievable, but hey, I'm living my dreams now. :)
Yesterday morning, as I was propped up against the bed playing a game of Free Cells on my iPad, I thought of this random song and started singing. When I stopped singing, B kicked me. I'm like.. "oh hello, you're awake, did my singing wake you up?". Then I continued doing whatever I was doing, and sang another song. When that song ended, B kicked me again!
Could it be... is it even possible.. that maybe... B liked my singing? So I experimented. I sang a few phrases and I stopped. I sang and I stopped. Each time I stopped, B kicked me! At that moment, I knew our bonding has started. It was so touching that I cried, and DH was shocked when he came into the room. When I told him what happened, I know he didn't quite buy it totally, but still felt excited about it. Afterall, he felt baby's kick the night before.
It does sound a little unbelievable, but hey, I'm living my dreams now. :)
Friday, November 23, 2012
I Will "Chagi" and "Chirugi" You - I'm A TaeKwonDo Black Belt Baby
When I read that the first quickenings can be felt between 16-20 weeks, I thought, oh goody, I wonder how it will feel like. It has been reported to feel like gas bubbling or butterflies fluttering. For first time mums, sometimes you won't even realize it and mistake it for something else.
But towards the end of my 16th week, one day at work, I thought I felt 3 knocks in my lower abdomen. It was kinda like 3 individual big bubbles bursting? Can't quite describe it well, but I thought it felt weird. Later that day, I felt it again, and every day ever since.
Last night was the most active B has been. I was in watching tv and I kept feeling his movements. DH was away so I texted him,
"Thankfully I now have B to accompany me you're traveling. He's been kicking me non-stop"
"Oh, now you have B, you don't need me anymore"
"B is awesome, so active"
"Oh dear, I hope not as hyperactive as [nephew] when he was younger"
"It's ok, I love his kicks soooo much. And he's definitely more active at night"
"His father is a taekwondo black belter"
At that, I laughed out loud. Trust him to think of that.
It will be such a sight to see little B with his daddy in taekwondo outfit.
But towards the end of my 16th week, one day at work, I thought I felt 3 knocks in my lower abdomen. It was kinda like 3 individual big bubbles bursting? Can't quite describe it well, but I thought it felt weird. Later that day, I felt it again, and every day ever since.
Last night was the most active B has been. I was in watching tv and I kept feeling his movements. DH was away so I texted him,
"Thankfully I now have B to accompany me you're traveling. He's been kicking me non-stop"
"Oh, now you have B, you don't need me anymore"
"B is awesome, so active"
"Oh dear, I hope not as hyperactive as [nephew] when he was younger"
"It's ok, I love his kicks soooo much. And he's definitely more active at night"
"His father is a taekwondo black belter"
At that, I laughed out loud. Trust him to think of that.
It will be such a sight to see little B with his daddy in taekwondo outfit.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
A Nursing Mum
Before getting pregnant, I always thought breastfeeding is a given, i.e. you give birth to a baby, you breastfeed baby. But after doing some research and hearing other's breastfeeding stories, it is NOT a given. Not many women can nurse their babies for various reasons. And of course, if I have a choice, I'd choose to breastfeed for as long and as much as I can.
For some strange reasons, last night was the second time I've dreamt of breastfeeding Bradley (oh yes, we've named our boy!) since I got pregnant. The dream was so vivid I recall the process being so incredulous. Witnessing the baby suckle on, it felt great that you are able to provide for him.
Obviously, a dream is just a dream right?
But my life now is filled with dreams. Dreams of how our lives would be when Bradley enters the world; dreams of what kind of parents we would be; dreams of how much joy Bradley will bring to us. Thinking of these dreams bring a smile to my face. How is it possible to miss or love someone without even meeting them yet?
Our last visit to Dr W, she gave us many printouts of Bradley - his side view, bottom view, his tiny feet, and his face! I scanned a couple of it and saved it on my phone. Every day, I will look at the shot of his face - it's amazing you can make out his eyes and his facial expression looked like he was smiling - and smile to myself. We made this little guy. I can't wait to meet him. But every day, I also worry if I'm providing enough for him, is he growing ok, the worries just don't stop, do they?
On a lighter note, my friend who had a miscarriage in August seems to have good news again. Looks like she's pregnant again. I've heard of success stories of how after a mc, one will get pregnant again pretty soon. Looks like she's just proven it. I'm so happy for her. Afterall, it was her initial pregnancy that got me so motivated into trying again.
Meanwhile, the countdown to seeing Bradley again begins. 26 more days!!
For some strange reasons, last night was the second time I've dreamt of breastfeeding Bradley (oh yes, we've named our boy!) since I got pregnant. The dream was so vivid I recall the process being so incredulous. Witnessing the baby suckle on, it felt great that you are able to provide for him.
Obviously, a dream is just a dream right?
But my life now is filled with dreams. Dreams of how our lives would be when Bradley enters the world; dreams of what kind of parents we would be; dreams of how much joy Bradley will bring to us. Thinking of these dreams bring a smile to my face. How is it possible to miss or love someone without even meeting them yet?
Our last visit to Dr W, she gave us many printouts of Bradley - his side view, bottom view, his tiny feet, and his face! I scanned a couple of it and saved it on my phone. Every day, I will look at the shot of his face - it's amazing you can make out his eyes and his facial expression looked like he was smiling - and smile to myself. We made this little guy. I can't wait to meet him. But every day, I also worry if I'm providing enough for him, is he growing ok, the worries just don't stop, do they?
On a lighter note, my friend who had a miscarriage in August seems to have good news again. Looks like she's pregnant again. I've heard of success stories of how after a mc, one will get pregnant again pretty soon. Looks like she's just proven it. I'm so happy for her. Afterall, it was her initial pregnancy that got me so motivated into trying again.
Meanwhile, the countdown to seeing Bradley again begins. 26 more days!!
Monday, November 19, 2012
The Waiting Game
As the pregnancy progresses, I guess no news is good news. Physically, I feel great and normal. Psychologically, I'm still grappling with the fact I'm carrying a baby, which gives me a new high every day. Rubbing my belly in circular motions is strangely comforting. I read somewhere that its equally comforting for the baby as well.
With regard to the baby's room, we haven't had much done, I kept telling myself it's too early. I don't want to buy and decorate the room and have to start cleaning the stuff every week. So far, we've only fixed up the cot, which we got second hand from a contact and it is in great condition. I love the fact that every time we walk past the room, the cot is in sight. It makes everything more real.
We've completed the jigsaw puzzle that I bought to decorate the room, it took us lesser time than expected, and I love the end result. I hope our boy will like it too. Someday, we'd love to take him scuba diving with us and explore the underwater world.
With regard to the baby's room, we haven't had much done, I kept telling myself it's too early. I don't want to buy and decorate the room and have to start cleaning the stuff every week. So far, we've only fixed up the cot, which we got second hand from a contact and it is in great condition. I love the fact that every time we walk past the room, the cot is in sight. It makes everything more real.
We've completed the jigsaw puzzle that I bought to decorate the room, it took us lesser time than expected, and I love the end result. I hope our boy will like it too. Someday, we'd love to take him scuba diving with us and explore the underwater world.
We bought a frame from Ikea and will put it up in the room tonight. It will add so much more colour to the almost empty room now. Baby steps....
Monday, November 12, 2012
It's Pink, It's Blue, It's Pink, It's Blue, It's.....
Last Friday, we woke up feeling extremely excited and happy. Because we were going to Dr W's for the 16 weeks scan. Also, we were hoping to be able to find out baby's gender.
Dr W's clinic was quiet that morning, she had a surgery in the afternoon and we didn't have to wait long before our turn. During the wait, I got a text from my sisters who were on holiday in the States asking if we found out about the gender. They were at Baby Gosh outlet and wanting to start buying baby's clothes. It didn't help with them sending me pictures of adorable onesies with taglines like "Daddy and I Agree Mommy is the Boss". I told them to give me 20 minutes and I'll give them the update, provided baby cooperates.
It was always a pleasure to see Dr W - she's so smiley, cheerful and happy! She asked how I felt, and I went "nervous!". She instantly put me at ease by saying, "ok then, let's go and see if we can find out the baby's gender".
It so happened she had a new ultrasound machine in that day, and the sonographer was there to help her. So she took her time with me, I've no complaints! I saw baby from various angles, enjoying while they chatted away on the various functions of the machine. Then Dr W said, "can you see anything?". In that instant, I saw it. And I shouted my question to Dr W, "it's a boy?!?!?!?!" and she laughed. I couldn't stopped laughing, not because we have been yearning for a boy (either didn't matter), but baby's little organ was soooo obvious and cute.
Now I know cute is not the right word to describe a penis, it most certainly isn't cute. But I am obsessed with my baby's! I asked Dr W if it's most certain a boy, and while she didn't want to give it a 100%, she gave it 90%, saying especially if the mummy can tell, it's quite definite. I guess we'll have to wait till the detailed scan to get a confirmed answer, but meanwhile, I'm already telling people I'm having a boy!
Thanks for being so cooperative, baby. I know the moment we saw your penis, you started to slowly close your legs. You must be thinking your job is done, you can go back to doing what you've been doing, and mummy won't bug you every day to open your legs. The incessant bugging must be driving you crazy.
Well now, the next thing I'd like to feel from you, it's not a demand, more like a request, is for me to feel your movements! But it's ok, take your time, I know it will come eventually.
Dr W's clinic was quiet that morning, she had a surgery in the afternoon and we didn't have to wait long before our turn. During the wait, I got a text from my sisters who were on holiday in the States asking if we found out about the gender. They were at Baby Gosh outlet and wanting to start buying baby's clothes. It didn't help with them sending me pictures of adorable onesies with taglines like "Daddy and I Agree Mommy is the Boss". I told them to give me 20 minutes and I'll give them the update, provided baby cooperates.
It was always a pleasure to see Dr W - she's so smiley, cheerful and happy! She asked how I felt, and I went "nervous!". She instantly put me at ease by saying, "ok then, let's go and see if we can find out the baby's gender".
It so happened she had a new ultrasound machine in that day, and the sonographer was there to help her. So she took her time with me, I've no complaints! I saw baby from various angles, enjoying while they chatted away on the various functions of the machine. Then Dr W said, "can you see anything?". In that instant, I saw it. And I shouted my question to Dr W, "it's a boy?!?!?!?!" and she laughed. I couldn't stopped laughing, not because we have been yearning for a boy (either didn't matter), but baby's little organ was soooo obvious and cute.
Now I know cute is not the right word to describe a penis, it most certainly isn't cute. But I am obsessed with my baby's! I asked Dr W if it's most certain a boy, and while she didn't want to give it a 100%, she gave it 90%, saying especially if the mummy can tell, it's quite definite. I guess we'll have to wait till the detailed scan to get a confirmed answer, but meanwhile, I'm already telling people I'm having a boy!
Thanks for being so cooperative, baby. I know the moment we saw your penis, you started to slowly close your legs. You must be thinking your job is done, you can go back to doing what you've been doing, and mummy won't bug you every day to open your legs. The incessant bugging must be driving you crazy.
Well now, the next thing I'd like to feel from you, it's not a demand, more like a request, is for me to feel your movements! But it's ok, take your time, I know it will come eventually.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Letter to Baby
Dear Baby,
Today, I wore one of my favourite blue dress which I haven't wore since finding out I am expecting you. It's a wrap dress that accentuates your body curve and I figured I probably shouldn't wear it in the early days of pregnancy as it might make me look flabby around the belly area. But yesterday, a colleague came up to me and said, "you're starting to show a little bit, I saw from afar and meant to tell you this morning". And when I went to Grandma's place, she and your Uncle J made the same comment. So I wanted to see for myself if its true. You know how I've been looking at the mirror everyday, so really, if there were changes, I couldn't quite tell it myself.
But this morning, I had a shock when I saw my reflection in the office pantry as I was preparing our breakfast. It has indeed grown my love. I texted Daddy to let him know, and he was elated. He said your party in the belly is beginning. See how proud we are of you? We cannot wait for this Friday to come faster so we can see you again.
Till then, keep growing.
Love,
Mummy
Today, I wore one of my favourite blue dress which I haven't wore since finding out I am expecting you. It's a wrap dress that accentuates your body curve and I figured I probably shouldn't wear it in the early days of pregnancy as it might make me look flabby around the belly area. But yesterday, a colleague came up to me and said, "you're starting to show a little bit, I saw from afar and meant to tell you this morning". And when I went to Grandma's place, she and your Uncle J made the same comment. So I wanted to see for myself if its true. You know how I've been looking at the mirror everyday, so really, if there were changes, I couldn't quite tell it myself.
But this morning, I had a shock when I saw my reflection in the office pantry as I was preparing our breakfast. It has indeed grown my love. I texted Daddy to let him know, and he was elated. He said your party in the belly is beginning. See how proud we are of you? We cannot wait for this Friday to come faster so we can see you again.
Till then, keep growing.
Love,
Mummy
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
The Journey
I don't think I ever shared what I did differently the month we conceived, or at least what I felt we did right.
I distinctly recall starting to try in August 2011 - I went on a girls' only trip to Hong Kong with G and stayed with J, we had the best time ever. Our last day in Hong Kong, I smoked my last cigarette and decided that was the last stick. When I return to SG, I'm going to start concentrating on making babies, no more cigarettes. And I went cold turkey.
I did not smoke for the next 8-9 months, but that was also the time I got discouraged after months of trying. So I decided, what the heck, I'm not going to be so anal about it, I'll just drink and be merry and smoke socially.
Until I finally decided to see the TCM practitioner and spent a bomb on my first visit, I decided not to waste the money and do exactly what I should be doing, i.e. stop smoking, stop drinking (tough), start taking bbt religiously and more importantly, keep having sex.
In the past, I've tried using Preseed, a lubricant that supposedly is safe for couples TTC. I didn't like it, it made such a mess and really takes the fun out of the already chore-like sex.
What I felt really made the difference, was not the chinese medicine, but the fact that I've been charting my temps religiously every day. That gave me a rough indication when I have or have not ovulated and timed our intimacy accordingly. Coupled with the TCM that supposedly helped to strengthen the uterus lining, it was bingo.
After a year of trying, which felt like forever, I think the best investment a couple should make when TTC is to get a basal body thermometer. And a right mindset. That will take you far ahead in your journey to parenthood.
Monday, November 5, 2012
"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come" Mother Theresa
What I've been feeling of late.. why does it seems like its happening so quickly yet slow at the same time?
It seems like it was only yesterday I tested positive on the first test kit, but I'm into my 15th weeks now. This weekend, I'll be four months pregnant. Everything is happening so fast yet so slow. Fast because that means I effective only have about approximately 20+ weeks to go, but slow every time I need to wait four weeks for my gynae appointment!
Thankfully, we won't have to wait too long this week. We are seeing little baby this Friday. I've been talking to baby, telling baby to cooperate and open the legs wide on Friday for Dr W to see the genital. It is probably the only time I'll ask him/her to open the legs wide, especially if she's a girl, then the chances of me wanting her to open her legs wide in the future will be zero.
See you soon, my dear little one. Remember to open your legs!
It seems like it was only yesterday I tested positive on the first test kit, but I'm into my 15th weeks now. This weekend, I'll be four months pregnant. Everything is happening so fast yet so slow. Fast because that means I effective only have about approximately 20+ weeks to go, but slow every time I need to wait four weeks for my gynae appointment!
Thankfully, we won't have to wait too long this week. We are seeing little baby this Friday. I've been talking to baby, telling baby to cooperate and open the legs wide on Friday for Dr W to see the genital. It is probably the only time I'll ask him/her to open the legs wide, especially if she's a girl, then the chances of me wanting her to open her legs wide in the future will be zero.
See you soon, my dear little one. Remember to open your legs!
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Falling in Love.. Again
I have had times in my marriage where I feel frustrated and angsty. But I guess with every marriage, there's always its ups and downs. Let alone our 6 year marriage, plus 4 years of dating before.
There were also times I felt like giving up. But I held on, because I know I'll probably never be able to find another guy like DH, who's loving in his own way.
I am so glad that with gift bestowed upon us, it has strengthened our relationship so much, that I find myself falling in love all over again with DH.
Thank you baby. You'll be born into such a happy, loving family.
There were also times I felt like giving up. But I held on, because I know I'll probably never be able to find another guy like DH, who's loving in his own way.
I am so glad that with gift bestowed upon us, it has strengthened our relationship so much, that I find myself falling in love all over again with DH.
Thank you baby. You'll be born into such a happy, loving family.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
I Wanna Be A Billionaire
You know the song by Travie McCoy and Bruno Mars? It goes "I wanna be a billionaire, so f**king bad. Buy all of the things I never had. I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine, smiling next to Oprah and the Queen".
My chance is here. For some strangest reasons unknown, I dreamt of one of Singapore's top 3 billionaire, Mr Wee Cho Yaw. I wondered if it's the fact I'm working in his building, or its just a precognition, but dream Mr Wee fancied me. Well, not love-fancy, but like "oh, this young girl is capable, I like her attitude" kinda fancy. I spent some time with dream Mr Wee and earned his respect, his bodyguard trusted me and I woke up after sending him to the elevator.
The first thing I told DH went I got up is, "baby, I think we're going to strike it big. I dreamt of Wee Cho Yaw, HUAT ah!"
Why on earth would I dream of someone whom I don't really know how he looks like until this morning when I googled him? More importantly, Singapore's richest man. It HAS to be a sign. I asked DH if there is lottery tonight, and he said, "Yes, TOTO".
"Wah, ho sei liao, HUAT AH!" came my ah lian reply.
Then I realised, I haven't got any cash on me, bummer. I could have go withdraw some later and head down to the 7-11 to buy it, but knowing me, I'd be too lazy.
BUT it's not over!
Sign #2 came.
I walked past 7-11 this morning, which isn't our usual route, and saw that there's a NETS sign at the counter. So I strutted across the road, there was NO ONE in queue, and I asked the lady, "can I buy TOTO and pay with NETS?"
She said, "yes!" And to top it off, she gave me a packet of tissue paper issued by NETS, you only get it if you paid by NETS. Hmph!
There you go! My lucky stars are shining. I bought $10 worth of tickets and one of it could be the winning set tonight.
HUAT AH!!!
My chance is here. For some strangest reasons unknown, I dreamt of one of Singapore's top 3 billionaire, Mr Wee Cho Yaw. I wondered if it's the fact I'm working in his building, or its just a precognition, but dream Mr Wee fancied me. Well, not love-fancy, but like "oh, this young girl is capable, I like her attitude" kinda fancy. I spent some time with dream Mr Wee and earned his respect, his bodyguard trusted me and I woke up after sending him to the elevator.
The first thing I told DH went I got up is, "baby, I think we're going to strike it big. I dreamt of Wee Cho Yaw, HUAT ah!"
Why on earth would I dream of someone whom I don't really know how he looks like until this morning when I googled him? More importantly, Singapore's richest man. It HAS to be a sign. I asked DH if there is lottery tonight, and he said, "Yes, TOTO".
"Wah, ho sei liao, HUAT AH!" came my ah lian reply.
Then I realised, I haven't got any cash on me, bummer. I could have go withdraw some later and head down to the 7-11 to buy it, but knowing me, I'd be too lazy.
BUT it's not over!
Sign #2 came.
I walked past 7-11 this morning, which isn't our usual route, and saw that there's a NETS sign at the counter. So I strutted across the road, there was NO ONE in queue, and I asked the lady, "can I buy TOTO and pay with NETS?"
She said, "yes!" And to top it off, she gave me a packet of tissue paper issued by NETS, you only get it if you paid by NETS. Hmph!
There you go! My lucky stars are shining. I bought $10 worth of tickets and one of it could be the winning set tonight.
HUAT AH!!!
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Finally... We've Past 12 Weeks
Some sources say you're in your second trimester once you past week 12, ie week 13 onwards. Others say second trimester begins in week 14. I say, who cares as long as we've past the first 12 weeks, traditionally the most difficult and vulnerable period? Congrats my little baby, you've come so far.
Looking back, I have been blessed with a smooth first trimester. I sure hope I don't jinx it by saying this out loud, but I didn't have the "usual symptoms", i.e morning sickness, sore breasts, extreme fatigue. It was to such an extent I worried if everything was going ok, and if I was really pregnant. Dr W said it depends on individual, and each pregnancy differs. I guess I can have a very smooth pregnancy now and feels like shit with my second.
Between week 6 and 8 was the worst I guess, nausea occurs every day almost around the same period - after lunch to before dinner. But it was manageable, no actual vomitting, just nausea. By the time I past week 8, it was the occasion nausea which I think was triggered by hunger or low blood sugar.
Now, at 13 weeks, I'm waking up lesser in the middle of the night to pee, I feel normal and I'm showing! Well.... not really. It's a very small bump which looks more like I over ate at meal times. However, I have been observing baby bumps versus well, spare tyres. With the latter, it looks flabby and wobbles when you're walking. With baby bumps, they are firmer. Or maybe that's how I like to think.
Two more weeks to next gynae visit... and we will know the gender, hopefully!
Looking back, I have been blessed with a smooth first trimester. I sure hope I don't jinx it by saying this out loud, but I didn't have the "usual symptoms", i.e morning sickness, sore breasts, extreme fatigue. It was to such an extent I worried if everything was going ok, and if I was really pregnant. Dr W said it depends on individual, and each pregnancy differs. I guess I can have a very smooth pregnancy now and feels like shit with my second.
Between week 6 and 8 was the worst I guess, nausea occurs every day almost around the same period - after lunch to before dinner. But it was manageable, no actual vomitting, just nausea. By the time I past week 8, it was the occasion nausea which I think was triggered by hunger or low blood sugar.
Now, at 13 weeks, I'm waking up lesser in the middle of the night to pee, I feel normal and I'm showing! Well.... not really. It's a very small bump which looks more like I over ate at meal times. However, I have been observing baby bumps versus well, spare tyres. With the latter, it looks flabby and wobbles when you're walking. With baby bumps, they are firmer. Or maybe that's how I like to think.
Two more weeks to next gynae visit... and we will know the gender, hopefully!
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
And Now We Wait... Again
Has it only been 5 days since my last ultrasound? Dang, felt like ages ago.
Waiting seems to be the only thing I do these days. So while we wait, might as well do something productive. I've completed the cross-stitch bib which I started at about 7-8 weeks. It's not great nor perfect, but it'll do. I toyed with the idea knitting, but I've never knitted before and I think our weather here is too hot and the yarn material is probably not ideal. Might give baby the itch, that's how I always feel with crochet tops.
Scrapbooking seems like a better idea since I was gonna start some sort of pregnancy journal. So off we went to get the materials from the local art supplies store. I've started a few pages of it, and I hope in the years to come, our child will look at it and feel our love. At the baby's full month celebration, we can even share it with our friends and family.
But now.... let's concentrate on waiting till the next visit.
Waiting seems to be the only thing I do these days. So while we wait, might as well do something productive. I've completed the cross-stitch bib which I started at about 7-8 weeks. It's not great nor perfect, but it'll do. I toyed with the idea knitting, but I've never knitted before and I think our weather here is too hot and the yarn material is probably not ideal. Might give baby the itch, that's how I always feel with crochet tops.
Scrapbooking seems like a better idea since I was gonna start some sort of pregnancy journal. So off we went to get the materials from the local art supplies store. I've started a few pages of it, and I hope in the years to come, our child will look at it and feel our love. At the baby's full month celebration, we can even share it with our friends and family.
But now.... let's concentrate on waiting till the next visit.
Friday, October 12, 2012
Second Precious Meeting
After four weeks of agonizing wait, we finally saw our baby on the screen again yesterday. It is simply amazing to see how our baby has come so far, from a little broad bean the size of 1.4cm to a human baby shape of 5.2cm.
When we went for the first scan, I couldn't even make out its shape. All I wanted was to ensure there was a heartbeat. It looked like a bean! But yesterday, my goodness, the baby's shape is formed. We can see the head, the hands and the legs!!
What the sonographer was looking out for is the measurement of the area below the neck where the collection of fluid under the skin is. At our first attempt at 9am in the morning, baby must still be sound asleep, for s/he was all curled up and refused to move! Despite our efforts to wake it by turning my body, coughing and rubbing my belly harder, baby refused to move! S/he was just too comfortable sleeping. After 10 minutes of trying, sonographer suggested I go for a walk, see my gynae and come back later. So off we went with tears of joy in my eyes, DH and I couldn't stop grinning. Baby was soooo adorable. All curled up, just like how mummy likes to sleep!! And when mummy sleeps, mummy can't be disturbed.
An hour later, after seeing Dr W, we went back again in high spirits. I don't mind if I have to spend the whole day at the lab, because I can never get tired of seeing baby on the screen. But this time round, baby was cooperative. Not only was s/he stretched out in such a position that makes measurement easy, s/he was active. Kept moving around and bouncing!!! BOUNCING! *cue tears again*
I was in a mess, with tears and laughter. We saw the little hands and feet, the heartbeat, the nose, the brain. Oh baby, the joy you bring to our lives. DH and I just can't stop thinking about it and he complained he's gonna be in trouble if baby has sleeping habits like mummy.
Oh time, please pass faster so I can see our little one again in yet another four long weeks.
When we went for the first scan, I couldn't even make out its shape. All I wanted was to ensure there was a heartbeat. It looked like a bean! But yesterday, my goodness, the baby's shape is formed. We can see the head, the hands and the legs!!
What the sonographer was looking out for is the measurement of the area below the neck where the collection of fluid under the skin is. At our first attempt at 9am in the morning, baby must still be sound asleep, for s/he was all curled up and refused to move! Despite our efforts to wake it by turning my body, coughing and rubbing my belly harder, baby refused to move! S/he was just too comfortable sleeping. After 10 minutes of trying, sonographer suggested I go for a walk, see my gynae and come back later. So off we went with tears of joy in my eyes, DH and I couldn't stop grinning. Baby was soooo adorable. All curled up, just like how mummy likes to sleep!! And when mummy sleeps, mummy can't be disturbed.
An hour later, after seeing Dr W, we went back again in high spirits. I don't mind if I have to spend the whole day at the lab, because I can never get tired of seeing baby on the screen. But this time round, baby was cooperative. Not only was s/he stretched out in such a position that makes measurement easy, s/he was active. Kept moving around and bouncing!!! BOUNCING! *cue tears again*
I was in a mess, with tears and laughter. We saw the little hands and feet, the heartbeat, the nose, the brain. Oh baby, the joy you bring to our lives. DH and I just can't stop thinking about it and he complained he's gonna be in trouble if baby has sleeping habits like mummy.
Oh time, please pass faster so I can see our little one again in yet another four long weeks.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Godsend Angels
I constantly tell myself how blessed I am. There are a million and one things to be thankful for, but today, I want to give thanks to the angels in my life.
The first angel, obviously is the little one in me. The ability to make me so happy even before coming into this world is really something only s/he can do.
But apart from my little baby, there are so many other angels in my life! This morning, I came to work with this note on my laptop:
It is a massive bag of clothes and I can't express my gratitude enough. Though, she's on the smaller side but insist most of these I can wear.
Another friend of mine, who has a 7-month old daughter and been giving me advices, sharing experiences and keeping a lookout for second hand items for me. When we have lunches together, if she thinks that I shouldn't be eating something, she will voice it out. I feel so blessed. Where to find?????
To think that these are just friends of mine, coworkers, no relations at all, are showing such concerns, what have my in-laws done? Not even a single congratulatory sentence! I sometimes hate to think that the baby will have to take after their family name. Best if they don't get involved at all, part time grandparents. That I'd love.
But no, I shouldn't be thinking negative thoughts like this. It will affect the baby. Our baby is going to be so loved by DH and I, as well as my family. I shouldn't let certain people with certain culture affect our happy little family.
The first angel, obviously is the little one in me. The ability to make me so happy even before coming into this world is really something only s/he can do.
But apart from my little baby, there are so many other angels in my life! This morning, I came to work with this note on my laptop:
Another friend of mine, who has a 7-month old daughter and been giving me advices, sharing experiences and keeping a lookout for second hand items for me. When we have lunches together, if she thinks that I shouldn't be eating something, she will voice it out. I feel so blessed. Where to find?????
To think that these are just friends of mine, coworkers, no relations at all, are showing such concerns, what have my in-laws done? Not even a single congratulatory sentence! I sometimes hate to think that the baby will have to take after their family name. Best if they don't get involved at all, part time grandparents. That I'd love.
But no, I shouldn't be thinking negative thoughts like this. It will affect the baby. Our baby is going to be so loved by DH and I, as well as my family. I shouldn't let certain people with certain culture affect our happy little family.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Almost One-Third Through the Journey
11 weeks! Baby is 11 weeks old as of yesterday. S/he has come so far from a small little cell, I can't believe how Mother Nature works. *sniffs*
Anyhoo, DH and I are sooo looking forward to this Thursday, I hope everything turns out fine. I'm finally getting around the idea of I really am pregnant, and in another week, I'll be able to share with more people about my bun in the oven.b
On a separate but equally domesticated note, because DH and I get home earlier as compared to when we were at our previous companies, I have more time to prepare and cook dinner for us during the weekdays. We've decided to stock up at least 3 days worth of groceries for dinner so we won't have to crack our brains on what to eat, and in the process, saving some money and eating healthier.
I've been a little adventurous in the kitchen of late. But it really stemmed from my interest and passion for cooking, because my appetite, especially dinner, doesn't seem to improve much. Last weekend, I tried home-made Ipoh horfun, made from scratch from the fried wantons and the char siew. I got the recipe for char siew from this blog, and it is fairly simple to do. My only problem was I couldn't get the 五花肉 from supermarket and ended up using pork belly, which turned out a bit tough. Otherwise, it is delish.
Anyhoo, DH and I are sooo looking forward to this Thursday, I hope everything turns out fine. I'm finally getting around the idea of I really am pregnant, and in another week, I'll be able to share with more people about my bun in the oven.b
On a separate but equally domesticated note, because DH and I get home earlier as compared to when we were at our previous companies, I have more time to prepare and cook dinner for us during the weekdays. We've decided to stock up at least 3 days worth of groceries for dinner so we won't have to crack our brains on what to eat, and in the process, saving some money and eating healthier.
I've been a little adventurous in the kitchen of late. But it really stemmed from my interest and passion for cooking, because my appetite, especially dinner, doesn't seem to improve much. Last weekend, I tried home-made Ipoh horfun, made from scratch from the fried wantons and the char siew. I got the recipe for char siew from this blog, and it is fairly simple to do. My only problem was I couldn't get the 五花肉 from supermarket and ended up using pork belly, which turned out a bit tough. Otherwise, it is delish.
Ingredients for wantons:
- 150g minced pork
- 6 prawns, minced
- 1 stalk spring onion, finely chopped
- Salt & pepper
- 1 tsp corn flour
- 1 tbsp sesame oil
- 1 tsp light soya sauce
- 1 tsp sugar
- Wanton skin
- Oil for frying
Mix all the ingredients and wrap the wanton skin with 1 tsp of the paste. Too much of it the skin will get burned while you ensure the fillings are cooked. So 1 tsp should be just about right. Deep fry until light golden brown.
Recipe for char siew: click here
Recipe for the horfun: click here
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Relief
Remember my earlier post on PITA? I'm glad to report this is the case no more. It has been a case of smooth sailing since.
I didn't change my diet much, but I think the cold has somewhat did me good as I've been increasing my fluids intake to ease my cough and soothe my throat. This is a much welcome relief.
On a separate note, we're inching closer to our 6th year anniversary soon! Yay! I wonder what we should do this year. Ever since I left my hotel job, we stopped celebrating our anniversaries with getaways, bummer. I am so keen to go on a holiday before the airlines refuse to accept me, and before baby comes along.
Now where should we go?
I didn't change my diet much, but I think the cold has somewhat did me good as I've been increasing my fluids intake to ease my cough and soothe my throat. This is a much welcome relief.
On a separate note, we're inching closer to our 6th year anniversary soon! Yay! I wonder what we should do this year. Ever since I left my hotel job, we stopped celebrating our anniversaries with getaways, bummer. I am so keen to go on a holiday before the airlines refuse to accept me, and before baby comes along.
Now where should we go?
Monday, October 1, 2012
Excuse Me Are You a Fetus?
Well, not quite yet but baby is no longer an embryo with a tail! Whilst s/he is officially a fetus next week at week 11, s/he is going through the fetal development now.
My cold has developed somewhat into a dry cough and I sound extremely nasal, but I think this is a sign of recovery. I hate to admit, but cooping up at home and resting actually makes you feel worse. While at work, you have distractions and you don't think about your illness as much.
Next week is a big week! We are going for the OSCAR scan and also seeing Dr W again. Can't wait to see little baby again, it's all I can think about these days. The downside, the waiting time at Dr W's clinic is really quite horrendous. Last visit, we waited 45 minutes.
Then again, we've waited almost a year for this little one to come into our lives, what's another 45 minutes or 7 more months?
My cold has developed somewhat into a dry cough and I sound extremely nasal, but I think this is a sign of recovery. I hate to admit, but cooping up at home and resting actually makes you feel worse. While at work, you have distractions and you don't think about your illness as much.
Next week is a big week! We are going for the OSCAR scan and also seeing Dr W again. Can't wait to see little baby again, it's all I can think about these days. The downside, the waiting time at Dr W's clinic is really quite horrendous. Last visit, we waited 45 minutes.
Then again, we've waited almost a year for this little one to come into our lives, what's another 45 minutes or 7 more months?
Friday, September 28, 2012
Reaching for the Medicine Cabinet.. Not
Many things in life we take for granted. The simple act of popping a pill from your medicine cabinet is one such thing. Every time I feel a cold coming, I pop a Panadol cold or the flu medicine from my last visit to the doctor. And after 3 pills, you usually feel better.
Now with baby, many medicine are out of bounds. I caught a virus that was going around in the office. Blame it on the co-worker behind me - sniffing and coughing for the last couple of weeks. It started off as a sore throat, and eventually I couldn't stop sneezing. Worried that the bug might affect baby, I went to the doctor hopefully for some quick relief.
But, doctor said, this is the time where you want to limit medicine intake if possible. So she only gave me a gargle for my sore throat, and some tablets for my runny nose, with instructions to only take half a pill (of the already tiny pill) when I really can't take the congestion anymore.
Now you tell me, with instructions like that, would I want to risk taking the medicine? Obviously I tried as hard as possible to avoid, and took 1.5 days off work just to sleep the bug off.
My throat is better, thanks to saltwater gargle and Manuka honey. My nose however, feels like its reacting to an allergy. But we'll be fine.
The good thing coming out of this? DH agreed to sleep without the aircon. It was so cozy.
Ahhh.. the simple things in life.
Now with baby, many medicine are out of bounds. I caught a virus that was going around in the office. Blame it on the co-worker behind me - sniffing and coughing for the last couple of weeks. It started off as a sore throat, and eventually I couldn't stop sneezing. Worried that the bug might affect baby, I went to the doctor hopefully for some quick relief.
But, doctor said, this is the time where you want to limit medicine intake if possible. So she only gave me a gargle for my sore throat, and some tablets for my runny nose, with instructions to only take half a pill (of the already tiny pill) when I really can't take the congestion anymore.
Now you tell me, with instructions like that, would I want to risk taking the medicine? Obviously I tried as hard as possible to avoid, and took 1.5 days off work just to sleep the bug off.
My throat is better, thanks to saltwater gargle and Manuka honey. My nose however, feels like its reacting to an allergy. But we'll be fine.
The good thing coming out of this? DH agreed to sleep without the aircon. It was so cozy.
Ahhh.. the simple things in life.
Friday, September 21, 2012
Saying is Believing
Seeing is believing is no longer enough.
I've seen my little one on the ultrasound. It's the most incredulous feeling, but, it ain't enough.
I've been spending time bonding with baby, to recommendations of friends and the book What To Expect When You're Expecting. With my hand over my belly, I tell baby what a great job she's doing, that I'm so proud of her and that we love her very much. In the beginning, it sounds so stupid. But as I keep talking to baby, it becomes more real that we have created a life and its residing in me. It's overwhelming.
Referring myself to "mummy" makes me giggle. Me? Mummy?
Yes, I think it sounds about right now.
I've seen my little one on the ultrasound. It's the most incredulous feeling, but, it ain't enough.
I've been spending time bonding with baby, to recommendations of friends and the book What To Expect When You're Expecting. With my hand over my belly, I tell baby what a great job she's doing, that I'm so proud of her and that we love her very much. In the beginning, it sounds so stupid. But as I keep talking to baby, it becomes more real that we have created a life and its residing in me. It's overwhelming.
Referring myself to "mummy" makes me giggle. Me? Mummy?
Yes, I think it sounds about right now.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
PITA... Pain In The Ass
Considered yourself warned. This is not a post about how I'm gushing about my little one.
Pregnancy can literally be a pain in the ass.
What used to be a smooth process is now hard and painful. Puns intended.
Sighs...
Friday, September 14, 2012
Say Hello to the Flickering Light
So the day finally came. The big day of our first prenatal appointment and first meeting with our baby. I've been so tensed up over this day and couldn't wait for it to come sooner. The 'what-ifs' keep popping into my mind - what if doctor sensed something is wrong? What is doctor can't detect the heartbeat? What if there isn't a baby afterall?
After 3 weeks of waiting, I can finally breathe.
We waited for almost 45 minutes till our turn to see the doctor. As usual, Dr W is so friendly and smiley that she puts me at ease instantly. When she said, "ok let's go and have a look!", I think my heart skipped a beat. And one thing happened after another, I was going through motion. "Leave your bag here, remove your shoes, pull your pants down a little, lie here..". I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move, all I did was stare at the screen in front of me. Please, please, please let there be a heartbeat.
I figured the first thing the gynaes usually do is to look for the heartbeat, as that was the first thing she said, "there's the heartbeat". I couldn't see or hear anything after that. All I know was this little flickering light was flickering at a fast, constant speed and nothing else mattered at that point. I cried tears of relief. DH looked at me and smiled. Dr W continued to move around, looking for the best position to take the crown to rump measurement, checking the water bag and its surrounding. It was over before I know it, the nurse whisked me up. I pouted internally, I still want to see my flickering light.
But, it's an image I will never ever forget.
After 3 weeks of waiting, I can finally breathe.
We waited for almost 45 minutes till our turn to see the doctor. As usual, Dr W is so friendly and smiley that she puts me at ease instantly. When she said, "ok let's go and have a look!", I think my heart skipped a beat. And one thing happened after another, I was going through motion. "Leave your bag here, remove your shoes, pull your pants down a little, lie here..". I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move, all I did was stare at the screen in front of me. Please, please, please let there be a heartbeat.
I figured the first thing the gynaes usually do is to look for the heartbeat, as that was the first thing she said, "there's the heartbeat". I couldn't see or hear anything after that. All I know was this little flickering light was flickering at a fast, constant speed and nothing else mattered at that point. I cried tears of relief. DH looked at me and smiled. Dr W continued to move around, looking for the best position to take the crown to rump measurement, checking the water bag and its surrounding. It was over before I know it, the nurse whisked me up. I pouted internally, I still want to see my flickering light.
But, it's an image I will never ever forget.
Monday, September 10, 2012
Where is the Glow?
So where exactly is this pregnancy glow or radiance?
Across the last 3 weeks, I've had many people (mostly colleagues) coming to me asking if I'm fine and that I looked tired. Granted, I do feel tired by the end of the day, but usually during the day, I feel alright. Those comments have prompted me to line my eyes thicker and touch up my red lippy often.
The first big prenatal appointment is this Thursday, we will be 7 weeks 4 days I think. As much as I've been looking forward to this day since I tested positive, I'm worried and nervous. I try to shun away from negative thoughts and concentrate on what an amazing job the little one is doing in the uterus.
Morning sickness (ms) is mostly manageable - it doesn't really happen until after lunch. The hours between 1230 to 530pm are worst, but manageable. I only feel nauseated, and no actual vomiting. Appetite is poor, and fortunately, I have no food cravings. I've had more cravings pre-pregnancy.
Looking forward to meeting the little one on Thursday.
Across the last 3 weeks, I've had many people (mostly colleagues) coming to me asking if I'm fine and that I looked tired. Granted, I do feel tired by the end of the day, but usually during the day, I feel alright. Those comments have prompted me to line my eyes thicker and touch up my red lippy often.
The first big prenatal appointment is this Thursday, we will be 7 weeks 4 days I think. As much as I've been looking forward to this day since I tested positive, I'm worried and nervous. I try to shun away from negative thoughts and concentrate on what an amazing job the little one is doing in the uterus.
Morning sickness (ms) is mostly manageable - it doesn't really happen until after lunch. The hours between 1230 to 530pm are worst, but manageable. I only feel nauseated, and no actual vomiting. Appetite is poor, and fortunately, I have no food cravings. I've had more cravings pre-pregnancy.
Looking forward to meeting the little one on Thursday.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
When Life Throws You Lemon...
When DH and I got married in 2006, we made it clear that we want no kids. Just the two of us.
One day, AF came late and we panicked. But no, we weren't pregnant. We thought we should be relieved, but it turned out we were extremely disappointed. I felt like I lost something that I didn't even had in the first place. That was the first time we thought, "hey, maybe we do want kids".
Fast forward a few years later, I've completed my 3-year course, I've changed jobs and settled into a new one. Last August, we decided to start trying.
You would have thought trying means to use no contraception/protection. No, there's a small window when you are fertile. Even if you meet that window, it doesn't guarantee a pregnancy.
Given, we weren't doing it as often as we needed to. I wasn't sure when my ovulation will take place. It was a give-and-take kinda thing. I got frustrated after 6 months, and decided not to try anymore. We took a 3-month break.
Suddenly, a dear friend got pregnant, someone at work recommended a TCM practitioner to me, I changed my mindset and outlook of life and what I want to achieve, said friend's pregnancy failed, another friend got pregnant, I got angry.
All these happened in less than 2 months.
But I've always believe things happen for a reason, as cliche as it may sound. With a clear and stable mind, I'm probably mentally ready.
That said, I'm pleased to share that LadyInWaiting is no longer waiting to get pregnant. She's waiting to the day she meets the little one in her.
Whilst I was a little hesitant in blogging about this, 'm only 6 weeks now, the incessant negativity in me is driving me nuts. I need a place to rant and get over my fear and wait patiently for my first prenatal appointment with the doctor.
This is, afterall, my journey to the bump.
One day, AF came late and we panicked. But no, we weren't pregnant. We thought we should be relieved, but it turned out we were extremely disappointed. I felt like I lost something that I didn't even had in the first place. That was the first time we thought, "hey, maybe we do want kids".
Fast forward a few years later, I've completed my 3-year course, I've changed jobs and settled into a new one. Last August, we decided to start trying.
You would have thought trying means to use no contraception/protection. No, there's a small window when you are fertile. Even if you meet that window, it doesn't guarantee a pregnancy.
Given, we weren't doing it as often as we needed to. I wasn't sure when my ovulation will take place. It was a give-and-take kinda thing. I got frustrated after 6 months, and decided not to try anymore. We took a 3-month break.
Suddenly, a dear friend got pregnant, someone at work recommended a TCM practitioner to me, I changed my mindset and outlook of life and what I want to achieve, said friend's pregnancy failed, another friend got pregnant, I got angry.
All these happened in less than 2 months.
But I've always believe things happen for a reason, as cliche as it may sound. With a clear and stable mind, I'm probably mentally ready.
That said, I'm pleased to share that LadyInWaiting is no longer waiting to get pregnant. She's waiting to the day she meets the little one in her.
Whilst I was a little hesitant in blogging about this, 'm only 6 weeks now, the incessant negativity in me is driving me nuts. I need a place to rant and get over my fear and wait patiently for my first prenatal appointment with the doctor.
This is, afterall, my journey to the bump.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Sweet Dreams are Made of This
I finally thought of what I want as my birthday gift next month. I shall drop the bomb on DH.
This morning, he told me he had a loooong dream. He dreamt that a baby kept following us. In that dream, he couldn't tell if it was a baby girl or boy. Baby fell asleep in my arms eventually.
I guess DH wants this as badly as I do.
This morning, he told me he had a loooong dream. He dreamt that a baby kept following us. In that dream, he couldn't tell if it was a baby girl or boy. Baby fell asleep in my arms eventually.
I guess DH wants this as badly as I do.
Monday, August 13, 2012
A Blissful Week
The whole of last week was godsend. Maybe it was a good idea that we canned the Aussie trip. But to be out of the country might have been better. Anyhow, I have not slept in for the longest time. Last week, I got up everyday at close to 1030am! I'm just surprised I didn't have any difficulty getting up and hitting the gym this morning.
Maybe it was my mind telling me that I somehow need to drag myself to the gym with all the feasting last week. I cooked quite a bit during our week off, and it was so much fun.
Maybe it was my mind telling me that I somehow need to drag myself to the gym with all the feasting last week. I cooked quite a bit during our week off, and it was so much fun.
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| Proscuitto Cups
I've made wanton cups in the past before, with shrimps and minced meat toppings. But saw this recipe online and decided to try. Because I've returned my muffin trays to my sister, and the ones I originally owned were huge, the proscuitto wasn't large enough to form a cup per se, it was pretty darn tasty for happy hour munchies.
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| Apple Crumble
Our friends invited us for dinner and she made this lovely apple crumble. I got inspired and went searching for a recipe. I never liked apples but the combination of apples and cinnamon is absolutely divine. I'm still trying to figure out how to make it less... crumbly.
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| From top anti-clockwise: spaghetti vongoles, grilled peppers, oven-baked ribs
Call me a copycat, but whenever I taste something delicious, I always get inspired to try it and add my own flavour to it. I had this beautiful pasta at my sis' and really wanted to try it. Pasta is the hubs specialty but i wanted to give it a try. A small teaspoon of chilli flakes and a quick drizzle of truffle oil makes it so divine.
I'm also still trying to perfect the ribs. There are too much charred bits, which I usually love. But I don't think our guests would like it?
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| Non-baked strawberry cheesecake
The batter, is simply put, to die for. I've had yet another inspiration stemmed from this dessert and can't wait to try it when we next have guests over.
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| Paella
Towards the end of our holiday, we were getting a little depressed about heading back to work. I wanted to do something different, something I'd never think of trying. The hubs wanted me to do the pasta again, but I don't like to have the same dish consecutively. God knows where and how "paella" somehow floated into my mind and I went on Jamie Olivier's website to see if he has the recipe. He has the bestest and easiest recipes for the most complicated looking dish. There were many negative comments on his website on how this ain't authentic paella, he shouldn't even call it paella.. etc etc. But seriously, for an amateur cook like me, I don't really care if its authentic or not, as long as it taste good! And boy, all I can say is, when the Hubs tasted it, he said he's considering letting me be a full time housewife. This, coming from a man who always wanted me to work (asshole!).
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Monday, July 30, 2012
Dream a Little Dream of Me..
A dear friend texted me, "I dreamt that you have a baby girl!".
I grinned so widely at her text.
"Yay!!" was my reply.
She added, "you were telling me over the phone that she keeps crying"
Woah... phantom baby already has a character. I love silly conversations like this. Makes me happy. And hopeful.
I grinned so widely at her text.
"Yay!!" was my reply.
She added, "you were telling me over the phone that she keeps crying"
Woah... phantom baby already has a character. I love silly conversations like this. Makes me happy. And hopeful.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Mind Over Matter
Charting BBT is actually fun. Well, not the physicality of it, but seeing the fluctuations and pattern.
So those parenting/pregnancy websites and forums are not lying. You do see the dip before ovulation, and then the rise. Interesting.
Hopefully the charting and the TCM helps. It could be psychological, but this cycle is kinda a breeze. The week of PMS was barely noticeable, I did not have any difficulties getting out of bed in the mornings, nor was the day-one cramp unbearable like usual.
Fingers crossed.
On another note, I do feel that there is a reason why I'm still not pregnant. The mind was not in the right state. There's the distractions coming from all over the place and I wasn't sure myself what I wanted. But now, I am almost 100% certain about who I am, what I want, and how I want to lead my life.
Hopefully, with this way-delayed epiphany, my little bump will come soon.
So those parenting/pregnancy websites and forums are not lying. You do see the dip before ovulation, and then the rise. Interesting.
Hopefully the charting and the TCM helps. It could be psychological, but this cycle is kinda a breeze. The week of PMS was barely noticeable, I did not have any difficulties getting out of bed in the mornings, nor was the day-one cramp unbearable like usual.
Fingers crossed.
On another note, I do feel that there is a reason why I'm still not pregnant. The mind was not in the right state. There's the distractions coming from all over the place and I wasn't sure myself what I wanted. But now, I am almost 100% certain about who I am, what I want, and how I want to lead my life.
Hopefully, with this way-delayed epiphany, my little bump will come soon.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
The Green-Eyed Monster
When I found out a friend was pregnant, I was so happy for her. But I also couldn't help but feel so disappointed that I wasn't pregnant yet. It took all of me to not show my disappointment as it was her moment.
I am truly happy for her, but I am also very jealous. I guess it has to do with the fact that I'm competitive by nature. I've always excelled in school, at work, but now.... zilch. Of course, I'm not competing against my friends, I'm just impatient. Didn't helped when I tried to subtly asked if DH would consider checking in with a doctor. His response, a flat "not yet".
When, oh when, is your answer going to be, "ok"?
I am truly happy for her, but I am also very jealous. I guess it has to do with the fact that I'm competitive by nature. I've always excelled in school, at work, but now.... zilch. Of course, I'm not competing against my friends, I'm just impatient. Didn't helped when I tried to subtly asked if DH would consider checking in with a doctor. His response, a flat "not yet".
When, oh when, is your answer going to be, "ok"?
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Back to the Grind
When I decided to start blogging on my journey to the bump, I had semi-high hopes and was somewhat desperate. I thought I'd done anything and everything I could, but looking back, I didn't. I did buy those ovulation strips - which incidentally I still have a bunch sitting at home - but I'd only religiously used them for 1 cycle perhaps. I did buy a BBT thermometer, but for the charting to be effective, you have to take your temps every morning around the same time. Needless to say, I didn't have the discipline to wake up at 6am over the weekends just to take my temps. So, I really can't said I've tried hard enough, except to assume a particular week would be my fertile week.
When I decided to "abandon" my blog, I was absolutely demotivated. I wanted to somehow take the relaxed approach, ie "not-trying-not-preventing" way, and more importantly, not care or think about it. Tricking myself to think that this would work, since it's been proven many times by others. Unfortunately, after a few months of that, I began to feel discouraged.
Now, this blog post is probably the indication of me trying to get back to the grind again. I went to a TCM the other day - she came highly recommended by a friend. It wasn't cheap, but I got motivated to try it. A day later, a friend who's been married for awhile finally got pregnant. I felt so happy for her, but also depressed that the bun in my oven is missing.
What a whirlwind week so far. I think I know why I wasn't able to successfully conceived in the past. I have my theories. And I'm eager to change it, mainly via how I control my thoughts. I'm confident I can do it. It will happen.
Meanwhile, 20 more days of bitter chinese medicine until the next visit with the Doctor.
When I decided to "abandon" my blog, I was absolutely demotivated. I wanted to somehow take the relaxed approach, ie "not-trying-not-preventing" way, and more importantly, not care or think about it. Tricking myself to think that this would work, since it's been proven many times by others. Unfortunately, after a few months of that, I began to feel discouraged.
Now, this blog post is probably the indication of me trying to get back to the grind again. I went to a TCM the other day - she came highly recommended by a friend. It wasn't cheap, but I got motivated to try it. A day later, a friend who's been married for awhile finally got pregnant. I felt so happy for her, but also depressed that the bun in my oven is missing.
What a whirlwind week so far. I think I know why I wasn't able to successfully conceived in the past. I have my theories. And I'm eager to change it, mainly via how I control my thoughts. I'm confident I can do it. It will happen.
Meanwhile, 20 more days of bitter chinese medicine until the next visit with the Doctor.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
What Are The Odds?
I am afraid of lizards. Scratch that, I am terrified. Damnit, terrified seems like an understatement.
I think I might know the reason for this phobia. See, I grew up with three older sisters and for some reason, every time one of them spots a lizard, the entire house is filled with screams. And then a lot of jumping and running around. Best part, if we hear someone screams, we all start running away from that source. We know what that scream means. Yes, it was frantic and chaotic.
As the years passed, I think lizards = screams. You see one, you scream. You hear someone screaming because of one, you scream and run.
Maybe the lizards (I just can't type the word without cringing) can detect the cortisol level and perhaps attracted to it. Because I swear they are attracted to me, or I attract them, or they get a kick from my screaming. Whatever.
Every single time DH goes away on a business trip, I have to deal with an unexpected guest in my house. Every goddamn time! Even after having him check the house before leaving.
Last night, I had to deal with it again - I was getting ready for bed but wanted a glass of water. That thing was one the wall when I stepped out of the room and my first reaction wasn't even a scream. I groaned. It took me 20 minutes, 3/4 can of pesticide and pesticide-covered floor to kill that thing. And then another 10 minutes to make sure its dead, and got rid of it.
By then end of the whole debacle, my shirt was soaked in sweat, body tensed and I was still shaking. The fear hits me and I couldn't sleep. Each time I closed my eyes, I see that damn thing wriggling. Arghhhh.
What are the odds of this happening every time he goes away?! I swear the easiest way to murder me is really to lock me in a room full of those things.
DH is back on Thurs, so god help me please. I've ran out of pesticide. Please.
I think I might know the reason for this phobia. See, I grew up with three older sisters and for some reason, every time one of them spots a lizard, the entire house is filled with screams. And then a lot of jumping and running around. Best part, if we hear someone screams, we all start running away from that source. We know what that scream means. Yes, it was frantic and chaotic.
As the years passed, I think lizards = screams. You see one, you scream. You hear someone screaming because of one, you scream and run.
Maybe the lizards (I just can't type the word without cringing) can detect the cortisol level and perhaps attracted to it. Because I swear they are attracted to me, or I attract them, or they get a kick from my screaming. Whatever.
Every single time DH goes away on a business trip, I have to deal with an unexpected guest in my house. Every goddamn time! Even after having him check the house before leaving.
Last night, I had to deal with it again - I was getting ready for bed but wanted a glass of water. That thing was one the wall when I stepped out of the room and my first reaction wasn't even a scream. I groaned. It took me 20 minutes, 3/4 can of pesticide and pesticide-covered floor to kill that thing. And then another 10 minutes to make sure its dead, and got rid of it.
By then end of the whole debacle, my shirt was soaked in sweat, body tensed and I was still shaking. The fear hits me and I couldn't sleep. Each time I closed my eyes, I see that damn thing wriggling. Arghhhh.
What are the odds of this happening every time he goes away?! I swear the easiest way to murder me is really to lock me in a room full of those things.
DH is back on Thurs, so god help me please. I've ran out of pesticide. Please.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Welcome the Year of the Dragon
Traditionally a very popular year for couples to have babies. Dragon being auspicious and probably the strongest animal in the Chinese zodiac?
Apart from the usual feasting, snacking and gambling, AF was late again. 4 days late to be exact. Which of course led me to wonder, "could I be....?"
When I finally decided to go get the test kit, as if right on cue, AF appeared the moment I got home and ready to test. I wasn't affected though, 'cause somehow I knew I wasn't pregnant.
DH is feeling it though - seeing all our little cousins, nieces and nephews made him really eager to try hard. I can't really deny him that and will continue to try (less maniac though), but not before I gave him a REALLY hard time and reminded him of what he said to me during New Year.
A lady forgives but never forgets! :p
Apart from the usual feasting, snacking and gambling, AF was late again. 4 days late to be exact. Which of course led me to wonder, "could I be....?"
When I finally decided to go get the test kit, as if right on cue, AF appeared the moment I got home and ready to test. I wasn't affected though, 'cause somehow I knew I wasn't pregnant.
DH is feeling it though - seeing all our little cousins, nieces and nephews made him really eager to try hard. I can't really deny him that and will continue to try (less maniac though), but not before I gave him a REALLY hard time and reminded him of what he said to me during New Year.
A lady forgives but never forgets! :p
Monday, January 16, 2012
Remember Neville?
Remember the scardy Hogwarts student, Neville Longbottom from Gryffindor?
He was also the one who pulled the Gryffindor sword out at the end and kinda-sorta saved the day?
Yep, the same person. How amazing?!
He was also the one who pulled the Gryffindor sword out at the end and kinda-sorta saved the day?
Yep, the same person. How amazing?!
Monday, January 9, 2012
Now What?
So what do you write on a blog that's titled Journey to the Bump and you're not on that journey anymore?
Hmm... I guess I still am on that journey, except the driver took a longer route and detour. Meanwhile, I'll update this blog with some food pictures and random bits of what's going on.
Hmm... I guess I still am on that journey, except the driver took a longer route and detour. Meanwhile, I'll update this blog with some food pictures and random bits of what's going on.
I have not stepped into the kitchen since the Christmas dinner. Yesterday, I decided to give it another go, in case we have visitors for Chinese New Year.
Not my first attempt at fried bee hoon, but it is for the Sayur Lodeh (vegetable curry). Made easy and convenient by the folks at Prima:
If you follow the instructions on the box, you'll agree it's really simple. I added a few more ingredients, like fishballs, brinjal, beancurd skin and my mother-in-law's dried shrimp sambal.
End results?
Two of us looking pretty much like Winnie the Pooh.
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