Sleep Deprived

Aren't we all? Before B came along, I felt sleep deprived every morning when waking up for work. But not that deprived to stop us from going to the gym, having one drink too many the night before or falling sick from it.

And then came Master B. I finally understood the real meaning of sleep deprivation. DH said he had gone through this in the army, but me? I was nearing hallucinations was it not for the adrenalin of having a new baby that kept me going.

Since then, it has been so much better. Or has it really? Whilst he used to wake every 2-3 hours for milk in the first 2-3months, he started sleeping through at 4 months but stopped one day. We kinda resigned to the fact that he will wake for a night feed, usually between 1-3am. I tell myself it's ok, I'm not working and will be happy for any opportunity for him to up his total milk intake. It's true, you just have to keep telling yourself that. -_-"

We had friends over for dinner on Saturday. It was a good catch up and I have to say I really did enjoy myself. It helped that B's bed time is 7... So we had uninterrupted "adult time" with our friends. By the time they left and we cleaned up, it was midnight. Needless to say, we felt zombiefied the next day. There we go, sleep deprivation again.

B's pd was on mc so we had to postpone the visit, and hence the introduction of fm. Funnily enough, the boobs sisters must have thought it was amusing to screw me up as the supply increased. It was enough previously despite the drop but now as B is taking in more solids, he has dropped one milk feed too. Here I am again with the same freaking dilemma of do I then continue pumping? I guess I'm about 85% sure I will stop very soon especially after enjoying the convenience of giving fm.

Whatever, I'm so tired of my fickled self. Watch this space I guess.

Of Bonding, Eating and Loving

Of late, I feel that B and I are spending more quality times together. I mean, we have been together since his birth but it's only recently that I feel our mother and son bond is strengthening. For one, as he grows, he's more aware of his surroundings and what's happening. I'm spending more time with him alone at home then at my mum's. On days like today when we are home alone and have nothing on our agenda, it's just mother and son time. The helper came in the morning and left by noon, B and I went to get lunch, later this afternoon we will go for our daily walk. There's no other distractions for me, I can just focus on him. Seeing his face lit up with smile when you go near him is simply heartwarming. I will do all I can to always be there for him.

He's taking in solids well. Besides the store bought cereals, he'd tried home made pumpkin, sweet potato, carrots, green peas, potato, avocado, apple and porridge. I think his favourite so far are avocado and apples. The hand blender we bought have been put to good use and when I'm preparing his purée, I really enjoy it and do it with so much love it's so cliche. Oh the joys of motherhood.

Motherhood would be even better if we don't have to deal with other "family issues".

A Day In The Life of a SAHM - Part II

0500: first pump of the day

0530-0630: baby wakes. Lotsa love, hugs, cuddles. Take a shower, have breakfast, attempt to read the papers. Wash and sterilise. Dump the laundry into washing machine

0730: baby's first milk. Hb leaves for work

0745-0830: baby's first nap. Hang up laundry, wash bottle, prepare towels and clothes for baby bath, prepare diaper bag to bring out, prepare milk for next 2 feeds

0830: baby wakes. Bath

0845-0900: ready to leave the house for mum's. Call mum, possible detour to pick mum from market.

0930: feed baby solid. Play time

1030: milk feed. Baby naps. Wash bottles and bowls.

1130: second pump

12-1230: baby active play time

1330: milk. Nap.

1330-1430: mummy's down time - Facebook, whatsapp chats, Instagram and possibly nap.

1500-1530: drive home. Feed baby solids

1630: milk. Nap. Prepares ingredients for dinner. Prepare baby's purée.

1700-1730: baby wakes from nap. Take a walk with baby.

1800-1830: wipe down for baby. Simple games, lotsa reading, winding down.

1900: last milk feed. If hubby is back, hubby feeds and I prepare dinner

1930: baby asleep. Dinner. Wash up

2000-2030: last pump. Watch tv while pumping 

2100: KO 

2300-0000: baby flipped in sleep, annoyed, cries. Baby dropped paci, annoyed, cries. Walk to and fro baby's room to flip baby back and put paci in. 

0300: baby stirring. Warm up milk. Feed. Change diaper

0330: lay in bed, can't sleep. Check fb

0345: KO

0500: alarm rings. First pump of the day 

Conclusion: it's nice to be a baby.

New Routine (Again)

The recent lack of updates and blog posts signifies my newish routine. I have since dropped another pump session and am now doing three pumps a day. My last pump is around 8ish at night and I usually go to bed right after the washing and stuff. This means I get to enjoy at least 2 more hours of sleep everyday. Yay! 

If you have been following my blog, you might have realised I'm somewhat anal when it comes to milk supply. Afterall I did go through a fair bit to bring them up. So for me to see supply dwindling and falling daily and accepting it is a huge thing. In the beginning, I was still contemplating if I should get started back on fenugreek again to bring it up but I reminded myself of my 6-mo goal and if I were gonna continue adding pressure to myself whenever supply drops, I'll probably bf him till what, 1-2yr? Ridiculous. It's time to let go. So once I had my mind set, being at peace with myself, I began to appreciate the "freedom" of one pump session less, and was even on the verge of stopping almost immediately. My current daily yield is still more than enough for B's consumption (a different story later) and I wanted to wait till his next pd visit to get a recommendation on the formula to introduce. Once we see the pd, I will start to intro fm to him starting from the midnight feed, then move on to a combi of ebm and fm and then eventually wean him off. It's a lot of emotions but I'm kinda over this whole bfg thing.

Now moving on to B's milk intake.. Omg I think he's probably teething. He's been rather cranky of late esp after he falls asleep at night. He will stir many times, wake up crying for his bickie, when you give it to him he sometimes refuses it. But when it's not in his mouth he cries for it. He's also flipping a lot in his sleep which is frustrating for him coz he can't flip back on demand. Yesterday he had a milk strike, he only drank 60ml each feed. Thankfully the last 2 feeds he finished everything. So far so good today, his appetite seems to be back. I hope the poor boy gets over this without any further discomfort. And if he indeed is teething, we are so looking forward to that first mini tooth popping out!

Letter To Bradley - 6 Months On

My dearest baby boy,

You will be 6 months old tomorrow. What a crazy journey eh? I hope that I have done alright and have not caused any permanent scars on you! :)

By now, you will probably realise Mummy loves reminiscing. That's because the memories are oh-so-sweet. From being pregnant, to the 40 weeks I carried you, to your birth, your first weeks and up till now, the learning curve for me is so steep and it continues to climb. Everyday I'm learning new things about you, everyday I'm discovering new things. What more can I ask?

Well maybe if I could, I'd ask for time to slow down a little. Let me enjoy your infanthood slowly because I know before anyone can say "baby", in a blink of eye, you will be a little kiddo. I also pray for your health because life has shown me regardless the material wealth, without health, everything is moot.

So, on the eve of your half birthday, Mummy wants to thank you again for coming into our lives. You filled up the void that we never knew was there until you came along. You made me learned patience is indeed a virtue, and something I hope will be instilled in you. You made me realise that it is actually possible to love someone, something so much that you are willing to give your everything.

Thank you baby. Mummy and Daddy loves you so so much.

Happy Half Birthday!

Quality Family Moments

DH had taken Monday off so we had a long weekend. When I was working, long weekends really perked me up and gave me the strength to last through the rest of the week. Now, it's the same. If DH has a long weekend, it means baby and I have an extra day to spend with daddy. From now till the end of the year, DH will be clearing his leave and the last week of December will be a blast!

Last weekend, we went out everyday. B gets excited when we leave the house and there's always much for him to see. With the pognae carrier, it makes bringing him out easier and more comfortable. DH and I were fighting who gets to wear him coz we love how he falls asleep in it, close to our hearts. We have become baby hoggers.

Our dear boy will be 6 months old this Saturday. Daddy will be back from India and I'm sure we'll have more fun as a family. Not looking forward to DH traveling but it is what it is.. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do! 😌

Surviving Days Without Daddy

DH used to travel a lot for work. Ever since the birth of B, he tried to cut down his travels but there are still the occasional trips here and there.

B and I used to "camp out" at my mum's when DH travels. It is rather cumbersome, having to bring so many things. And I think it was inconvenient for my family. So this trip that DH was away, I decided to stay home with B, afterall he's just away for one night. Well, we survived. I drove to my mum after B's bath and first nap and try to come home around 3ish so as not to get stuck in the peak hour traffic. It's not that bad except, I really really miss DH a lot. Feels a lot like how I felt during my confinement, except this time round I don't feel helpless.

I don't feel bored either, just lonely. Funny how I feel this way even with B! And poor B seems bored! Next week DH will be away for 3 nights, I'm contemplating to drop my 5pm pump, something I had planned to do anyway when he reaches 6mo. 

Let's see how it goes.